Bong Rips and Blowjobs (A Game Grumps Fanfiction)

+-+ Forty One +-+

Tw: self hatred and talk of self harm

++ DANNY'S VIEW ++

I drove myself to the hospital to pick up Patty. Suzy offered to drive but I knew he would just want to go home and be with me. Suzy would prohibit us from being completely alone.

"Who are you picking up?" A nurse asked looking over the thick rim of her glasses to see me.

"Patrick Hamilton." I said, pulling the sleeves down on my arms.

"Fifth and final floor. Wait at the metal door; do not go in." She stated handing me a pass, "It's the hall for the mentally ill. Stay at the door."

Patty wasn't mentally ill, well maybe slightly, but not like the others on that hall. He just made a mistake because he was crying out for help, he wanted me to come save him. But I didn't know he was struggling that much.

The metal door was just what she said. Perhaps a steel door with no windows. Not even a door handle on the side I was standing on. How would I even get in if I wanted too?

"Who are you picking up?" A doctor asked coming up behind me.

"Hamilton." I stated, trying not to sound as terrified as I was.

"Wait here. I'll go get him." He said buzzing himself in and disappearing behind the door.

It would be another thirty minutes until I saw someone again, another doctor who looked just as tired as he spoke.

"He's on a medication to help with his bipolar disorder. His parents sent over his medical files and he was diagnosed with it at a young age." He said and handing me a small file, "But oddly hasn't been on medication since he was a child. We usually keep bipolar patients on medication."

Out of everything we have spoken about, mental illness never came up. It terrified me to know what was going on inside his head, especially knowing that his personality can switch that easy. From being perfectly fine and a few hours later commiting suicide.

"He's been really quiet and hasn't been sleeping well so don't expect him to say anything. Don't force anything onto him as well." He said and that's when I noticed three other doctors bringing him down the hall.

His hair was a mess, the normally green hair completely gone, now a deep shade of brown. Did they dye his hair back to a natural colour?

His head was ducked down and staring at the floor, his shoulders hunched over slightly as well. Both his arms were wrapped and if you looked hard enough you could see how the shirt he was wearing pretty much wore him.

The moment he looked up, he forced a smile. His eyes were darker than ever before, the bags under his eyes a dark colour which showed his lack of sleep. Which made my feelings over the past few days correct. 

"You can go home. If he does anything bring him straight back alright?" A doctor said letting go of Patty's shoulder.

Patty almost ran to me and tightly wrapped his arms around me. He was shaking like a leaf and softly crying. He seemed smaller than when I held him last, my arms seeming to wrap around him more.

As we left the doctors and walked to the elevator, Patty finally loosened his grip on my hand. Just softly keeping our hands together for more of his sake than my own.

Neither of us said a word as we left the hospital and got to the car. He buckled up and stared out the window, pulling his legs up and under him.

"I'm sorry." He said softly as I was about to put the car in drive.

"W-what? About what?" I asked, moving my hand back and moving to push the hair from his face.

He flinched under my touch before I noticed him pinch his hand and then mellow out.

"What's going on? And I want you to be honest with me, please." I said, moving my hand to rest on his.

"C-Can we go home first? Please. I'll tell you everything there." Patty says, turning to look at me with tears in his eyes.

"Of course."

I felt like I was speeding the entire way home. Honestly I could have been and just not noticed because I was listening to my fiancé softly crying in my passenger seat.

Even at the apartment he didn't say anything, he just went straight upstairs and into our bedroom. Laying on the bed and kicking off the pants and shirt the hospital gave so he was laying in underwear.

"Do you still want to talk about this?" I asked, laying down next to him and pulling his small body to my chest.

"Yeah." Patty sighed before speaking, his head laying on my chest.

"My hair colour was a punishment. After the suicide watch I was caught pulling my stitches out and they bandaged my arms and dyed my hair back to brown." Patty was silent for a few moments.

"When I told them why I tried committing suicide they called me bipolar and gave me medication to fix me or whatever. At night I cried because I didn't know what else to do, I continued pulling the stitches and soon they just fell out on their own." Patty says as his fist is balled around my shirt.

"Why did you try?" I asked softly, honestly terrified to hear the answer.

"Because you deserve better than some stoner. I know you don't want to put up with me and I'm just you're charity case." Patty says softly.

"You know that's not true right? Why would I have proposed to you if I didn't love you? You aren't a charity case because I wouldn't have cared that you were in the hospital if you were." I said, "My knuckles are bruised and cut up because I was scraping them against concrete because I felt so bad. That you told me that you would be fine and then tried to kill yourself."

"The entire time I was in the bathtub I was panicking. I didn't want to die, I wanted help and no one knows how to help until you've reached the end." Patty says moving off my chest to wipe the tears off my face.

"Let's just lay here and cuddle alright? Forget that we're sad for a few minutes and be an adorable couple." Patty says a smile forming on his face.

"Alright."

It's a few minutes into holding him that I feel him drifting to sleep. But before he falls asleep he whispers,

"I love you lighthouse."