perfect medicine

Reminiscing

I've spent a good bit of time thinking by the pool and decide that whatever happens happens. Like Shannon says don't try for anything. Just enjoy each other's company until he's healed. I head up to stir him from his slumber and as I get closer to the room I hear his soft chuckles. I find him propped up on the bed with the photo album he had brought out the day before. The whole bed is covered in photos from all the places over the world they have been, either performing or visiting. There's family pics, vacations, parties, etc and he's just caught up in the memories. It's so sweet to watch and I stand at the doorway quietly taking him in. There's a crack of light through the kinked curtain and its shining on him and I swear he's like a freaking angel. The sun is glowing through his ombre hair and he seems so at peace and so rested. I almost feel like I'm intruding.
"soooo..... jasmine..... Are you just gonna stare at me all day or actually get your ass up here. This old beds getting cold and lonely, same as this old man. " he doesn't stop sorting photos as he speaks. Doesn't break concentration or look in my direction yet he knows I'm there." huh..... But how...... How did you??? " I stand there doing my best fish impression, silently staring." strawberries my little shortcake , I can smell your locks 25 ft away. Cmon get up here I wanna show you these. Some of them are a hoot. ". He pats the bed again at his dude and I hop up and sit cross legged opposite him." I know I've just woken up but jeez jaz have I got death breath or something. I'm starting to think you have fallen out with me." he drops a picture and twists without thinking to catch it and falls back hard on the pillow trying to hide the shooting pain in his side. It takes his breath away and his asthma kicks in. I can see the panic in his face as its too sore to cough or take a large deep breath in. I hop over the bed and am essentially straddled over his legs. I take his face in my hands and make him look at me. "concentrate on me Jay, look at me." I put one hand flat on his chest and the other on his cheek. "look at me Jay.. Breathe in slowly through your nose and out through your mouth. Slowly Mr........Nice and gentle. I put his hand on my chest and tell him to copy my breathing." Slowly in and out. I breathe , you breathe ". Slowly but surely he calms down and the tension in his body and face eases. There's silence in the room and for a few special moments we sit eye to eye with a hand on each others chest, connected on a higher level. I'm still straddled across him and I know I'm getting hotter under the collar so to speak so I go to get up but he stops me and pulls me into a soft hug with his good arm. "thank you jasmine. I know I'm a grown man in my forties but my asthma still scares the shit out of me. Combined with the pain I just couldn't get a breath there. How the fuck did you sort me out without my inhalers. That was some voodoo shit you pull there nursey. Thank you so much. I don't know what I would do these days without you here ". I hug him back, running my fingers through his soft hair." your welcome Jay. That's what I'm here for isn't it. It's my job". I smile at him and sit over beside him.
"it's more than that jaz. It's important to me that you are around now. I feel calmer and happier if you are home...... I'm sorry I know I'm being a pain and mumbling on but I mean it. I really really like having you here." "I really like being here too Jay. I have to be honest I'm dreading when you are better and that's it. Nothing to do with the band, I just value you on a personal level as a friend now and it kills me to think of not seeing you all day every day." I felt his hand engulf my tiny one and I lean in enjoying this moment with him. "just a friend?" I hear him say slowly in a cracked whisper at my ear..... I can hear the hope and fear and lust in his voice and I think of what Shannon says. Life's too short for reminiscing of what could've beens or should've dones . I get up slowly and back to the position i was in before, straddled across his thighs. I see his face as the shock registers on it and I stroke his cheek. "I could lose my job Jay...... It's what I want but it's wrong... It's complicated...." he strokes my cheek back and tucks my hair behind my ear. His thumb grazes across my lower lip and I just crumble. I lean in and kiss him gently, feeling his soft warm lips under mine and I hear him moan gently as my tongue licks along his mouth searching for permission to take this further. His hand is in my hair now pulling me in as our kiss deepens. We stop short of breath and sit forehead to forehead. "well at least that's out the way now" he whispers.
Bang bang bang..... We hear the door downstairs..... The bell goes too. "what the fuck. Perfect timing or what." he laughs. I jump up to go and get the door and he sighs dramatically as we separate from each other on the bed. Poor guy can catch a break, all this frustration and finally getting somewhere and now this.........
I open the door as the bell goes again and it's all the gang. Shannon, tomo, vicki, Emma, Jamie, etc. All carrying bags of take out food and booze.
"hey jazz, hope you don't mind but the guys all wanted to catch up with you both and knew I was gonna pop over so.... Oh.. U didn't did u.... " he whispers.
" what... No.... Why? "
" eh your really flushed and your hairs all mooshed up lol"
"weeeeelll. Its a no, but if you guys hadn't arrived then I might be giving you a different answer". He blushes and apologises. "ifs fine, I don't want to rush things anyway. Go and give Jay a hand to come down and I will get plates and that out" I say and swatt him on the ass........