perfect medicine

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

The dreaded day has come. Breaks are mended, wounds are healed, my work here is done. I've not slept much last night and I know he knows.  I'm up sitting on the back porch with my tea, soaking in everything that I'm going to miss. I genuinely never expected any of this and I'm not coping  well with the thought of leaving here.... Of leaving him. But real life beckons I guess.
I hear the doors open and his feet quietly padding to where I am. He sits behind me and I'm engulfed by his arms and his scent and I break down. I just sob into his sleeve as he hugs me tighter than ever before. "it's not the end jasmine, just the next chapter. You have to trust me on this, you are part of my life now, you are in my heart and my head and I will fight to keep you there forever..... I promise
" I hug him in close and try to speak but it's just a mess of sobs and noises and he can't help but chuckle. "jasmine seriously between the crying and your accent I have no fuckin clue what you just said. Baby please calm down so we can talk this through." I try but my breathing is so erratic. Before I realise what he's doing he sitting in front of me and takes my hand and puts it on his chest and his in mine. "eyes on me shortcake" he says quietly and locks those baby blues onto mine. "follow my breathing, I breathe, you breathe. In and out, nice and calm." this goes on for about five minutes till my breathing regulates and he bursts out laughing. "don't laugh at me u fucker" I say giggling too. "you never fail to surprise me jay"
"well what can I say, this really hot, sexy nurse taught me that one time, just stuck in my brain, can't think why haha". "now that you can breathe my shortcake we need to talk about what happens now. Do you need to go back to mercy. I know, I know, you built that department up and you are in charge, but you've had this time away from it and I wondered if you wanted a new challenge". The silence in the room is deafening." I'm so stuck I don't know what to do. I've been at mercy for so long and worked my way up to run my own trauma unit and it means so much. To be a female and a nurse but have this level of trust and responsibility its taken a lot. But I have enjoyed the break from it. I know if I go back I'm never gonna see you. Between recording and touring and my extended shifts. I hate it Jay. It's killing me. "
He pulls me in close and I just breathe him in. His scent overwhelmingly and instantly calms me down." no rush baby, no pressure. We have the overseas tour coming up and I need to sort something out, like, kinda urgently so do you need me to get Shannon or someone to come sit with you. I can't leave you like this. I will be an hour max probably not as long actually. "
No I'm okay Jay but thank you." I get up and kiss him on the nose then lips and head off to pack up some of my things. He disappears like a rocket already on his phone. Hes up to something hut I don't know what.
The afternoon drags in as I plod about from room to room soaking all the memories in. Jared returns bounding through the door like a new puppy. Hes positively hyper. "jaz, jaz where are you" he screams through from the lounge "come here pleeeeeeease baby". I head downstairs to see what the loon ball is up to and I'm confronted by the whole gang. "eeerm. Okay....... Is this like an intervention or something cos I really don't drink that much honest" they are all as hyper as their glorified leader and I get told to sit down. I'm kinda nervous to be fair as they are all just waiting on Jared to tell me what's going on.
"jasmine. You know that everyone in this room doesn't want you to leave and loves you very much now don't you. Well given that we have a pretty hectic overseas schedule coming up and the potential for illness and injury increases with all the long distance travel and lack of sleep etc etc etc....... How would you feel about being Mars personal nurse /physio. Given your background in both your the perfect candidate for us old men and our war wounds. ". I'm completely gobsmacked and sit silently watching them all staring at me waiting for an answer." wow so this is what you rushed off to organise Mr, huh? " he's grinning from ear to ear and I know he's super chuffed with himself but I'm torn between this new adventure and what I've built up over the years. " Jay, baby.  I love that you guys all care so much I really do it's overwhelming. I'm not saying no but I really need to think about this seriously. It's a big life change for me. Please don't be angry or hurt that I'm not just jumping up screaming yes. I need to digest what your asking me to do. When do you need to know. "
" Take your time jasmine" Shannon speaks up, "no pressure from anywhere. Just think it over. We really do want you to be part of the Mars family. Well you are already, so we just want it to stay that way is all we are saying." Jared nods at him to silently thank him as he's looking a bit forlorn right now and quiet. I take his hand and excuse us from the group so we can speak alone.. He follows me silently and I can feel him shaking as I hold his hand. It's only when in the privacy of his room he breaks down. Pulling me in close, tears rolling down his cheeks. "i love you so much shortcake and whatever way you need to work it we will continue I promise. I won't push you into anything or make you give up your dreams. But just know that I love you and want to be with you for as long as you want me to". He pulls me close and in that moment I know that I have to take this chance. I have to be with him and see where that journey takes us. I've never felt love like this and to have it returned by him makes me certain that any decision that will keep us together can only be the right one........... Tbc