The Pain Of Their Presence - Sequel to Sound of Their Presence

Chapter Thrity One: Hate on Me

Cheyenne's POV

    "What I mean," Shane tells me, "Is that first, you broke up with Lysander and basically told me to take a back seat. I need a bit to be alone. I need to sort this all out!"

     "All of what?!"

    "You also claimed to need time to yourself!"

     "Well, I tooks some time!"

     "You took one night, Cheyenne. One night!"

     "Why are you yelling at me?"

     "I don't know how to explain this to you! You are so certain that we have to be together, and I need time!"

     "So you don't want to be with me? Is that it? Just please- Can you please, please just be straight forward with me? For once?" I am so very confused. I mean, one minute the boy loves me- But the next . . . Does he truly hate me?

     "Cheyenne . . . Just- I don't know anymore, D*mn it!"

    "Shane," I feel tears threatening to stream down my face. I close my eyes in a feeble attempt to keep the salty droplets from peering through my dark lashes. "Why are you swearing at me?" At this point I can't help the sobs anymore. He lets go of my wrists, which I had forgotten he was clutching so tightly. As he tries to pull me into an embrace, I back away, my wrists now having red finger markings. Shane tries to pull me closer, as he tries to calm me, and I know that we have made a break through. Problem is, I am too far gone.

    So I turn to the one alternative I have. The one way I can really, really cope with everything. WIth all the sh!t that happens in my life: I choose to sing.

     "If I could give you the world 

On a silver platter 

Would it even matter? 

You'd still be mad at me 

If I can find in all this 

A dozen roses 

That I would give to you 

You'd still be miserable 

'Cause in reality 

I'm gon' be who I be 

And I don't feel no faults 

For all the lies that you bought 

You can try as you may 

Bring me down when I say 

That it ain't up to you 

Go on do what you do "

    I sing Glee's version of Hate on Me Hater.

    "Hate on me hater 

Now or later 

Cause I'm gonna do me 

You'll be mad baby 

Go head and hate on me hater 

I'm not afraid of 

What I got I paid for 

You can hate on me"

    The hot tears on my cheeks hardly register, as I sing right into Shane's ears.

     "Ooh if I gave you peaches 

Out of my own garden 

And I made you a peach pie 

Would you slap me high? 

Wonder if I gave you diamonds 

Out of my own room 

Would you feel the love in that 

Or ask why not the moon 

If I gave you sanity 

For the whole of humanity 

And had all the solutions 

For the pain and pollution 

No matter where I live 

Despite the things I give 

You'll always be this way 

So go ahead and... "

    Suddenly, Shane has somehow pulled me into his lap, my red jeans rubbing against his faded ones.

    I continue to sing, regardless of the way this boy disarms my determination. Regardless of the way he destroys my confidence. Maybe I could still walk awa with my dignity . . .

    "Hate on me hater 

Now or later 

Cause I'm gonna do me 

You'll be mad baby 

Hate on me hater 

Now or later 

Cause I'm gonna do me 

You'll be mad baby 

You cannot 

Hate on me 

Cause my mind is free 

Feel my destiny 

So Shall it Be You cannot 

Hate on me 

Cause my mind is free 

Feel my destiny 

So Shall it Be "

    Shane grips my chin gently between his thumb and forefinger, looking into my eyes.

    "You cannot 

Hate on me 

Cause my mind is free 

Feel my destiny 

So Shall it Be, "

    The tears have dried thouroughly on my cheeks by now.

    "Hate on me hater 

Now or later 

Cause I'm gonna do me 

You'll be mad baby" I finsh the song.

    Before I have the chance to fight my way out of Shane's lap, although I have already come upi with the resolve to stay away from him from now on, Shane leans in to me.

    I let out a little squeak as he presses his lips to mine.