Silence // (Lashton)

chapter three

"Silence"

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Song: Eyes Wide Open by Olivia Broadfield

Ashton POV

I felt a hand on my spine and the other hand below my legs like a bridal style. The way I knew these were Luke's hands was the rudder of his wristbands. He never takes them off. One was a Nirvana bracelet and others were made from yarn or maybe beads. Those were his favorites. The fact that I can't see them anymore. Darkness filled my vision and I can never say that I would have my vision back because I know that I won't get it back which makes me want to yell and die already

It's so pointless that I can't see anymore or hear. I would never blame Luke for this. Anything happens for a reason right? I'm just tired of being on silent. I can't hear anymore. I can't hear my boyfriends beautiful voice nor his face. I miss the picture of his face in 3D. All I could is picture of cherish memories. That's all I could ever do.

I wake up in darkness. I eat in the darkness. I shower in the darkness. I take naps in the darkness. The darkness is following me everywhere. There's no escape into this. It feels like I've entered the hell hole.

This is my life and I don't know how I could escape to this. This is my new lifestyle I guess. I'm not used to being on silence. I want to see the world again and hear things and do other stuff that I use to do. Play the drums. Hear the anger of the hits I do. I want to play my emotions into the drumsticks.

But I can't. I had to give it up because I can't hear a thing. It breaks my heart to let it go which I wasn't suppose to.

For a reason I could feel Luke crying when he sees me like this. I feel like crying everyday for not hearing him and look at him. He makes my days every single morning. His smile appearing on his face telling me good morning. The breakfasts he makes for me. Cereal with small triangle sandwiches by the side with orange juice. He steals kisses which it wasn't fair he wouldn't let me steal some of his kisses.

It happens every morning. This doesn't happens anymore since I'm blind and dead. This is a heartache on a big screen that's breaking into pieces. Sometimes I tell myself "why didn't I died?" But I can't just say it because I don't want Luke crying for his whole life.

I don't think ill last like this for a long time. It's been like two weeks already being like this. I feel like it's been a year and it's killing me slowly I want to see! I want to hear! I want to shout so loud and cry my lungs out. I want to die I can't live like this! I want to get out of this already I can't do this I can't anymore

I can't be like this anymore I'm done I just want to leave I want to die peacefully I don't want to struggle anymore I want to die already I just do..

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(A/N): I just want to put Ashton's thoughts in display so you can know now how is he feeling in his satisfactions of his deaf and blindness. ):

Makes me wanna cry.

THIS ISNT EDITED.

I'll fix my damn errors.

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