chapter eighteen

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"Silence"

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Ashton POV

I finally felt Luke's hands on mine. It was the happiest moment of my life. I couldn't feel his hands that I've ever known against the people's hands touching on mine. It was so uncomfortable I have cried for Luke for a month since he left me in this horrible place I don't ever wanted to come again.

But I want to see my beautiful boyfriend again. Hear him out yelling me across the room telling me

"Come here you little piece of perfection!"

I miss it so much. Sometimes he would always say to me

"You are one gorgeous Australian."

I would always doubt it because he is gorgeous even if he's mad he's still gorgeous. I can never picture him mad because he's so cute when he's mad and he would always make me laugh.

Now the jokes and pictures and the beautiful sound of his.. His 3D image is gone..

How could I ever see him again if these technology shit doesn't work at all? Can I at least get one back? Mostly my hearing is important to me because I can finally hear him if I do get it back.

If I'm lucky to get my sight first than my hearing, and I would cry about it. I would at least finally get to see my baby's image again in reality not picturing it on my mind.

Either way, I just want to be with him right now seen him or hearing him.

The touch of my boyfriend's palms and him held it next to his lips and giving it a closure gentle touch on top of my hands was the best feeling ever. I had to cry about this moment I bet Luke was happy to finally see me and hoping for staying a little long today. I wish he would stay.

Should I tell him?

I do miss him and I don't want him to leave me anytime soon.

My darkness is still killing me very quickly. I'm fighting his nightmare so I don't die anytime soon. It was too soon to give up. I wanted to stay a little longer to achieve all these upcoming events of life with Luke before I die. Yes, I want to. Just not yet. I know doctors won't accomplish their task, but I will thank them for trying their hardest and tried everything they could to get my importance's of having a good life.

I know for a fact luke will never ask me to be his wedding husband nor have kids with me because of me. I know Luke will wait for me to let go of him and waits for my answer to his question. I know my life won't end up the way I want to. So the only way I can be happy is death and end with God's hands in protection and finally see again but be Luke's guardian angel and watch him be happy with another man.

My tears will never end. So I have to cherish what I have today.

And maybe the future.

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(A/N): crying right here man.

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- I love you lots, Johnny x

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