Im in love with my bully- Harry Styles

Chapter 12- deeper

While waiting for Niall, I sat in the bed, watching a romance comedy, twitling my thumbs. I'm such a loser, trying to kill myself, failing, and now I'm alone in a hospital bed, waiting for my "Prince Charming" to come and bring me dinner.

Gee, could I get any sadder?!

"Hey baby, I got your food!" Niall stormed in with bags, and bags of food.

"For me, or the whole hospital?" I giggled.

"This should last us... About an hour." He chuckled as he started to unpack the food.

He handed me my dinner, but through the course of the night, I'd seen that I hadn't even eaten half of my food as Niall went plate, after plate, after plate! I felt so empty... But yet, so full. My stomach was actually hurting from what I had eaten. I'd gone through periods of time like this that I just couldn't eat, or didn't feel like eating because I'd always looked at myself like I was fat. My friends would get mad at me, I'd feel so tired, rundown and depressed. They'd call me "anorexic" just cause id eat small portions of healthy foods and worked out after nearly every meal. But that's crazy! That doesn't even categorize as anorexia!... Does it?

"Franny? You nearly touched your food, are you feeling well?" Niall asked as he whipped the side of my lip with a napkin.

I'd dozed off from feeling so drowsy, I just felt so alone and so worthless that it just felt like a black hole was sucking out my spirit little by little from me until... I'd just be "gone" one day. And yet, I was ok with being dead. Maybe it is just the right thing to do. You know, I don't care what anyone wants really, I think I'm going to do it... But when?

"Uhmm, yeah, I'm just a little tired from all the drugs they put me on for the pain... I'll probably be ready for breakfast tomorrow though." I said with a weak smile. He had no clue that on the outside I looked like a strong fighter, when on the inside I was hiding from myself... Drowning in self pity and sorrow... Crying for help, and no one had even known it.

The truth is... What I really wanted to do, was have Harry here. I don't mean that I want to yell at him, confront him, or hurt him in any means, but I just really felt attached to him all of a sudden. I don't blame Harry, nor louis for what happened. I can only be blamed for my stupidity. But, I just wanted to feel Harry's touch again.

As Niall fell asleep, I dialed Harry's number.

I wasn't trying to act secretive to Niall or disobey him, I just don't want him to get suspicious about Harry and I.

Last thing I want to happen is lose Niall. I can't begin to think about breaking his heart.

"H-hello?" Harry answered in a deep, raspy voice.

"Harry?" I answered back.

"Franny? Franny it's 2:30 am. Silly girl what are you doing at this time?" He chuckled tiredly.

"Harry, I'm overwhelming depressed and I just need to see you!" I said as I sobbed though the phone.

"Ok love, calm down... Calm down. You... You want to see me? After what I did to you...?"

"Harry, I dont blame you, it's not your fault, it was my choice to do that... I just need you right now!" I said sadly.

"Can I go to the hospital tomorrow morning? First thing?" He asked happily, but still comfortingly.

"Yes! Yes please!"

"Ok love, I'll be there. Now close your eyes, and dream happy thoughts... You and I, together... Only us. What are you picturing?"

"You and I are holding hands, walking on the beach... The suns shining bright and there's wind, but not too much. You pushed the hair from my face, to the back of my ear, and stared into my eyes until we locked lips-." I stopped myself "umm, I mean, umm-"

"I like your dreams... You know what they say, dreams do come true." He make a kiss noise into the phone and said he'd see me tomorrow.

I slowly felt myself slip back into the dream with Harry again. I couldn't snap out of it! I knew it was wrong cause I was with Niall... But it just felt so right!