Starstruck - Shawn Mendes / boyxboy

Chapter Thirty-Two: Mixed Emotions

Jacob's POV

It's official, Shawn and I are officially boyfriends. Well, not really because we've told Jenna and Michele and soon my mom who was at work but no one else.

Jenna, Michele, Shawn and I were currently watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

"Who's your favorite Kardashian sister?" I asked randomly as a commercial went on. I looked at my friends, Michele was on her phone, Jenna was watching, but seemed uninterested, and Shawn just looked at me as I spoke.

"I think I like Kendall the most." Jenna said unsure looking over at me.

"I don't like any of them." Michele spoke finally looking away from her phone.

"Khloe is the best, obviously," I said as I fast forwarded through the commercials.

"Since you like Khloe I like Khloe." Shawn said as he grabbed my hand, and I pretended to gag, but Jenna and Michele laughed.

"I regret asking that question because of you trying too hard." I mumbled under my breath, and Shawn just laughed, but his phone started ringing. He took his phone out of his pocket and answered it.

"What's up? Wait, when? This was supposed to be my break, not-" Shawn said annoyed, he got up from the couch and went left the living room.

"What just happened?" Michele asked confused, looking at Jenna and I.

"I should go check on him." I said getting up from my spot and walking to my room, which was next to guest room Shawn was supposed to be staying in, but he preferred staying with me in my room.

"Don't worry about it," I heard Shawn say in my room. The door wasn't closed, but opened just a crack, I feel bad for eavesdropping but I don't want to barge in while he's on the phone.

"Jacob is just a friend, and nothing more. Nothing is happening between us." Shawn spoke into the phone, and I'm pretty sure my heart broke a little bit. He said he wanted to tell everybody, this clearly isn't telling him. Maybe he's just embarrassed of me, of us. A gay relationship, that would ruin his career. I could ruin his career.

"Nothing will happen between Jacob and I, I'm straight." Shawn said into the phone, and my heart broke even more. He is embarrassed of me, or this whole thing is for pity, he could clearly be straight and this whole 'relationship' probably isn't anything real for him.

"I got it, I got it, tomorrow I have an interview okay okay bye." Shawn said ending the call. I quickly walked into the bathroom, to make sure he wouldn't see that I eavesdropped, but me closing the door quickly, also made me close the door in a not so subtle way.

I put my back against the door, and just closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears, what he said could probably just help keep us secret, so he won't get a bad reputation for being gay, so fans will still love him. I'm probably being overdramatic but I'm not going to lie, hearing those words hurt. He told me he wanted everyone to know I'm his, it was so genuine too, but what I just heard a few moments ago is making me question him, question us.

"Jacob, is that you?" Shawn said softly knocking.

"Yeah, it's me." I answered with a shaky voice, trying not to break out into tears.

"Are you okay?" Shawn asked concerned.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." I answered, but Shawn didn't buy it. He opened the door that I forgot to lock and looked at me, but I avoided eye contact.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" Shawn asked concerned walking up to me and grabbing my hand.

"It's nothing Shawn, don't worry about it." I said trying still avoiding eye contact, and trying to move past him, but he moved as well to make sure I don't get past him.