Coming Back to You 'Hunhan'Baekyeol'Kaisoo

Chapter 15: One, Two, Three, I Started Crying

The door was opened intensely and Baekhyun and Luhan could only turn their heads toward it. Baekhyun smiled lightly at the sight. It was Kyungsoo with Kai, Xiumin with Chen. Kyungsoo was holding one of Xiumin's wrist.

"Yah, yah! What is it now?" Kyungsoo exclaims as he went close to the crying Luhan with Xiumin.

"Oh, Luhan just being depressed." Baekhyun noted.

Luhan was out of his thoughts when the people entered. Kyungsoo sat beside Luhan who was still crying fat tears.

"He needs time to remember all memories so we can fully continue forgetting them in the meantime."

Kyungsoo could only nod as he comforted Luhan while saying a countless, 'It's gonna be alright.'

Luhan nodded despite his body unable to move or even speak.

"We're gonna go head upstairs and be at the terrace, getting some fresh air." Kai announced as he put down the bags and went together with Chen.

It was now one of the second days where Sehun hadn't dared to go and say sorry to Luhan. Second day of Luhan who hadn't stopped crying from everything.

-

'I want to be the reason of your smile, Lu.'

'I want to be the reason of your laughter.'

'The reason of your happiness, your comfort. I want all of those to be one of the reasons why you feel those.'

'Even though I am not the reason, I still want to be the one who will see those. The one who'll see you smile or just laugh. You make me feel all of the emotions that I only wanted you to cause it.'

'Am I the reason?'

Yes, Sehuna. You are the reason. Reason, that I am crying right now. Reason, you make me feel bad. Reason for all the melancholy I'm feeling.

'Let me see you smile, Lu. Before classes start.'

Fuck you. You only wanted me frowning.

'Is my joke funny? C'mon tell me, because if not I will be late for my next class and I will not be able to do any task.'

Fuck you. You only wanted me crying.

'Are you happy?'

Fuck no.

'Are you okay?'

Fuck no.

'Are you still mine?'

...I-I don't...know. Maybe.

Maybe not.

Maybe not anymore.

Wait.

Who are you to ask that now? Sehun-ah?

I should be the one who has to ask you that.

Are you happy because you left me?

Are you okay that I'm nothing now?

Are you still mine?

Am I still your home?

Will you come back home to me?

I don't long to hear you say sorry. I don't want to hear your sorry. Because, when you say sorry it can be just over the phone and you'll be just forgiven right away.

I want to hear you say my name. I want to hear you say you love me still. I want you. No, I really need you.

Can you listen to my heart? To what it is doing now?

I'm really cheap. I am begging for you like a scumbag.

'Lu, you are Love.'

Well yes, like what they say: Love can't be bought nor sold.

That's why I'm cheap.

I can't be expensive.

I can't be. You don't prioritize me. You don't think I am important.

I am cheap. You can throw me away and buy a new one.

I remember the kiss. The one we were always under the rain.

Let me tell you that when you come back, I'm still your home. My door is always ready to be opened.

Open arms.

That's what you see when you first step inside your home.

This is what is love.

For me, I forget what I am when I'm crazy for you. Think you should send me to the hospital already.

You want to be the reason? You want to see me?

See me here, crying like I lost my everything?

Yes, everything.

Tell me I'm crazy.

Tell me you love me.

Tell me it's all a lie.

Tell me your love is not a living lie.

Tell me you just used her, not me.

Tell me you'll be coming back.

Tell me I was worth your time.

Tell me I was worth loving.

Tell me you don't want to lose me.

Tell me you made a wrong decision of choosing her, not me.

Tell me now.

Tell me...

...I will die.

Because, what's the point of living when the person you live for turned you away?

But, I think I should learn to live without living with the person I used to live for.

Yes...

...That's right.

And then...

...I'll die, alone.

Luhan fought with his mind. Talking with Sehun who wasn't real. Remembering memories randomly. Taking all the reality.

Questioning questions that wasn't answered. Answering questions that aren't heard by the real person. Talking that was ignored. Asked but wasn't the answer. Questions never the answer.

He left himself in pain, thinking about dying. He didn't choose this. Nobody did.

Only one.

"One, Two, Three, I started crying."

That's what Luhan says to Sehun when he wants to cry  But ever since, it wasn't heard because, Sehun kept Luhan happy. Now that was second said. He wasn't happy anymore.

Many words wanted to come out of Luhan's mouth that was wanted to be said to Sehun.

Sehun didn't hear those words. But when he did, he panicks.

"O-one...T-two...Thr-three...I started...crying..."

Luhan passed out.