hate to love you.

fifty-seven

hmm, it's been what? around six months since i've allowed myself to be found by demi laying in my own bloody water?

flashback:

"gabriela?" i could hear demi calling for me, but she was worried. the type of worried that dallas would be.

although something in me told me to get up and clean before she reached me, i stayed put.

slowly, the door creaked open, and a gasp escaped her mouth as she began to sob.

"baby girl, it's going to be okay." she said stepping in the bloody bath water holding me from behind.

she began lightly tapping my face as i laid there with my eyes shut.

"get the fuck up and say something. i know you're not sleep." she said while laughing, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead.

"demi?" i said. she looked down at me.

"i'm sorry." i said.

*flashback over*

of course, she was devastated, and disappointed, but in that moment, i felt at peace until she cursed at me telling me to get the fuck up.

things have been changing. not just because i now know that dallas is my mother, but i'm taking recovery more seriously. i actually want to get better. i don't think that i'll ever forgive myself for letting my child die.

it's been ticking me off lately. the fact that demetria feels like she has a bit more authority over me just because she is my aunt.

my 'grandma' always says now, 'gabriela, respect your aunt demetria.', and it annoys the hell out of me.

demi and selena are caught up in their relationship and they couldn't be any happier.

they're so happy, that it makes me even happier.

snapping back into reality,

"gabriela, can you come here?" selena said shouting from upstairs. i ran up the stairs, leaving demi to watching her shows.

i bet she didn't even notice.

"yeah?" i asked.

she smiled from ear to ear before revealing a black box from behind her back.

"selena, i d-" i started, but she cut me off. "don't say anything too loud." she said laughing.

she opened the box, and it revealed a diamond ring within it. i covered my mouth and silently screamed into my hands.

"you're proposing?" i asked. she nodded and closed the box. "and, i need your help." she said.

"i want to propose tonight, but i'm going to need help setting it all up. do you have any ideas?" she asked. i smirked.

"of course." i said.

one of her eyebrows raised.

"we need to go out right now." i said leaving as she nodded and grabbed her keys.

i stuck my head back in the room, "oh, and selena?" i asked. she nodded. "don't forget your credit card!" i said smiling.

she rolled her eyes.