By popular demands, the duo is back!😜
"You can't what? Stop cheating?" She sits back down too.
I shook my head no. "You know what you do to me, it's really hard to be committed to someone else, ...knowing your still in love with what you had.."
"Wh...
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I sat there on my balcony early this moring, looking over the city I had in my pocket as the sun started to come up. Last night, I cried and I cried and I cried again. I don't know why but....this Shit is really getting to me.
...I just feel so tired...
So tired of the bullshit. Now that I'm getting older and I have all the money I need, I can't help but to feel like I missing something. And I thought it was Jacob and in a sense it was. Deep down, I just wanted to be loved again. Truly, faithfully, happily. I'm so fed up with this on and off again shit with him, and I only allow it because we really do love each other. But maybe...we're just not right. We may have the love and sex down back but when it comes to a faithful relationship...., it just never works.
Now I'm smoking and drinking, crying myself into a drunken tiz while I bullied myself internally. I compared myself to Brandi in every way possible. She has pretty eyes, my eyes are dark and basic. She has curves, my curves aren't as curvy. She's the new, I'm the old. She's his taste, I'm just his waste. She's full of new possibilities, I'm full of the old b.s. from the past.
Never before was I ever jealous of a bitch this much but enough is enough. I love myself and if he...wants her, he can have her. Why fight for a nigga when he's not even interested in you. And I can't help but to feel like this...between us is a fake just to have sex with each other. But for me it wasn't, I had feelings and I never looked at another man after we got back together.
Maybe it's time we...really go our separate ways. I just wanted to be happy and with him right now, I'm not happy in the slightest. I guess it's over...
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After picking up my paycheck from the financial department, I headed upstairs to go check on Brianna. Well-- If she'll even talk to me today. I missed her last night and I felt a little bad about what happen. I really didn't mean no harm when I brought Brandi flowers. Sure I like to...look and talk to her but it's nothing I'll risk for being with Brianna.
