Secrets are hard to keep

Chapter 18

I was eating lunch in the canteen and i looked around at all the couples and thought about me and Shawn's relationship. We are both 17 shouldn't we of like done stuff now? i know we've only been dating for a few months but we've grown so close. Should i ask him? no i shouldn't as it might sound a bit desperate, which i'm not but i've noticed that recently i've started to have more sexual thoughts about Shawn. i wonder if he's been the same with me? i decided to ask Amber for advice as she seemed to know boys pretty well. i found Amber and explained the situation. "does Shawn know your having these thoughts?" she asked. i shook my head. "i think the time will come when you and Shawn are both ready" Amber said. 

That day after school me and Shawn both went back to his house and it was super chill, until a question popped in my head. "Shawn can i ask you something?" i asked. "sure" Shawn replied. "have you ever done anything before?" he asked. "what do you mean?" Shawn asked. please don't make me ask again. "have you ever like had sex before?" i asked. I don't think shawn was expecting that question because he didn't answer straight away. "no" he replied back simply. i sat up and looked at him. "what?" Shawn asked. i didn't say anything i just leaned in and kissed him. He kissed me back like he was drowning and i was air. Shawn slowly took my top off  but all of a sudden i felt super insecure. i quickly pulled away. "whats wrong? did i do something wrong?" Shawn asked. "no its just my scar on my stomach from the accident" I said. "Amelia don't worry, you have nothing to be insecure about, nothing at all i promise you' Shawn said and then he kissed my forehead. i looked up at Shawn and we kissed again and i took his top off and soon we were both naked. "Shawn have you got anything?" i asked hoping that he does. "i think let me check" Shawn said as he got out of bed. He came back holding a condom. He got back in bed and we started kissing again. "you ready?" Shawn asked. "one minute i need to go a toilet" i said as i got out of bed. i went into he bathroom and i started to panic. what if it hurts? what if it goes wrong? what if i become pregnant? after a few minutes i came out the bathroom and went back into Shawn's room.  And then the moment came i lost my virginity.