His Mute Mate

ch.9

Edited by sadiaslayzpizzas

Winter

We spent the weekend just enjoying each other company and him trying to get me to eat. I think he might have noticed that I just stopped eating. It's Monday now and I'm not sure if I should be excited to see my brother or terrified of Josh being there. I only know that he's in my first because well I had that panic attack. "Come on babe, we got to go, you don't want to be late do you?" Dean says pulling me out of my thoughts about today. Like what's gonna happen today? Will everything be ok? Will he forget about me? How many classes does he have with me? "Winter, are you ok?" Suddenly, I feel warm arms wrap around me and hear Dean's voice. I nod not feeling like using the mind link for right now. Honestly, I don't feel like doing anything just getting up to get ready got harder. Hopefully, it gets better. That's what everyone says, right it gets better? Well, when does that happen? Because I've been depressed since my parents died when I was five, and mute since I was thirteen. So please tell me when does it get better? When does the light they told me about shine? It's all just lies they tell you to give you hope but after thirteen years of depression and it just gets worse. How am I supposed to believe in hope? So by now, it's all just lies, terrible lies that can help people or not because those with hope are better than people without hope. At least they are living for something, the thought of somehow being happy again keeps them alive. But all I have is myself I know Dean doesn't really want me here, he's only doing this for his pack because he feels sorry for me. My brother would be happier without me making him worry if my depression is getting worse or if I had a panic attack. Everyone would be better off without me.

"Winter, are you sure you want to go inside?" Dean says looking at me worriedly and I look around wondering when I got in the car. I nod and smile pretending to be ok. That's all I do, cover it up with a smile faker then Kylie Jenner's lips, until I break. Then I break hard I cry and cry until I just can't anymore. We get out of the car and walk into school my anxiety amplifying and suddenly my hands and knees are shaking. Everyone just staring at us at me the girl who had a panic attack and passed out. I hear the whispers and just try and walk faster to get my locker. To get away from all the judging eyes and to hide in my hoodie. "HEY WINTER ARE YOU OK? YOU WERE GONE FOR LIKE EVER," Alice yells from across the field, and then everyone whispers even more. Alice runs up to me and hugs me while I nod to answer her question. When she pulls away she looks at my face and I smile again she believes it and walks away while I walk inside to my locker. I get the stuff I need for the morning and go to class early so I can sit in the back away from people.

The bell rings and everyone sits down since the teacher still hasn't shown up. None of the teachers are on time, the day a teacher is in class when the bell rings is the day pigs fly. "Hey Winter, how are you today, are you feeling better after what happened?" Josh says sitting next to me. I take a deep breath and look in the other direction away from him. "Aw, do I make you uncomfortable?" he whispers in my ear and I cringe away. I don't want him near me or anywhere involving me. "I'm sorry. Look, let's start again," he says and I almost believe him until I realize he said this before. After the first time I was scared of him then he asked me if we could start again and he did it again after I trusted him again. "We can meet at your house, preferably your room," he whispers and I feel his breath against me and squirm around. "Do you feel uncomfortable?" he smirks at me and I sink deeper into my seat. Why isn't anyone helping me? Don't they see me cowering in my seat? Don't they hear what he's saying?

The teacher doesn't come into class for the entire period and Josh keeps talking to me. The bell rings and I quickly jump out of my seat and run to second period. I walk in and sit in the back again and put my head down. Somebody sits next to me but I don't care as long as they don't talk to me. "Hey, did you miss me?" I hear Josh whisper and I move over in my seat. Where is Alice, why isn't she here? Did she change her schedule? "Why are you ignoring me pet?" he says just as the teacher walks in. "Ok class today you have a free day in all your classes due to certain teachers having meetings and us not having substitutes," The teacher says before leaving and I just sink deeper into my seat. Please somebody save me, I can't stay here with him, Alice isn't here and I don't see Dean till the next class.