❝ Nothing quite makes my heart ache like our almost. ❞
She looked down at the crumbled piece of paper, skimming through the list of her final 3 wishes.
1. Fall in love myself.
2. Watch two people fall in love.
3. To leave, smiling.
Alyssa Sheffiel...
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"So Alyssa Sheffield, huh?" He asked her, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the steering wheel. She couldn't trust herself to speak so she simply nodded instead. Part of her wished she did. It would have been easier if she had messed it all up or made herself look stupid. At least it would have annihilated the little piece of hope that she didn't know was still inside her.
She didn't miss when he shot her a curious glance through the rear mirror.
His green eyes lit up with persistence and curiosity, "What happened with the car?"
Alyssa cursed her luck, knowing that a head shake wasn't going to do.
So she spoke.
"I- I don't know. I think it's something to do with the engine."
Intently, she watched his head of curls bounce as he nodded his head thoughtfully. "That'll probably take a while to repair. If you want, I can give you a lift for a while?"
Her heart stopped. Her breath stopped. For her, time stopped. She wanted ever so badly to say no, and put an end to all this.
It was bad.
It was unhealthy.
Alyssa was so lost that she failed to notice the scowl on the brunette's face behind.
"Yes, thank you."
Locking her eyes onto the white leather, she fiddled with the seat beat. What was she doing? Why was she so willingly allowing herself to fall back under his charms? She had done the very same three years ago and all she had returned with was a broke heart. Yet she still found the corner of her lips tug into a smile, however much she despised herself for it.
He noticed.
When she heard a chuckle from the drivers seat, she lifted her eyes up. "We're here," he said to her as if he had already said it before.
"Thanks." Startled, Alyssa nodded before pulling herself out of the car, walking forward towards the school and away from the car park as quickly as possible. She imagined herself walking away from all of her troubles. All of her problems. All of him.
Vaguely, she heard him call something along the lines of picking her up at Edondale park tomorrow but it was enough for her to understand.
The next day she stood next to one of the trees on the outskirts of the park. She had woken up early to put on her favourite dress, although she told herself it wasn't for him. She wore it because she wanted to.
It was bitter cold yet she waited for her ride. She could have very easily asked for one from her mother but she couldn't bring herself to ditch him when he had offered.
So she waited.
5 minutes.
10 minutes.
20 minutes.
40 minutes.
She clenched her eyes shut in anger. Not at him but at herself. She'd played herself. For no valid reason at all. Alyssa had given herself hope and she absolutely hated herself do it. He was a busy person. He must have forgot. He must have had things to do, unlike her. She was a nobody.
She did the one thing she hated the feeling of.
Letting herself down.
Somehow, she had managed to let herself back into that dream but she knew she needed to wake up. She had to.
But it was okay. It hadn't been too late. Alyssa didn't want to spend her last months moping over a boy. She could still stop herself from falling again. What had she gained from lowering her walls?
Pain.
Nothing else.
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