The Day She Let Go | ✔️

• to drink •

Alyssa threw her head around wildly, getting lost in the music. She'd completely lost track of the hours and the only measure of time she had left was the three empty cans that she was still holding on to. Alyssa closed her eyes again. She'd always thought that parties were crazy things where people got hurt but right now, she was enjoying herself.

A second later, she let out a scream when an old song that used to be her favourite started playing. When she opened her eyes again, she saw the green eyes boy with the messy black hair a few feet away from her.

When they locked eyes, she gestured for him to come towards her forgetting about her original plan of giving him space. He grinned revealing him dimples, before pushing through the bodies of swaying people towards her.

Without thinking, Alyssa threw her arms around his neck before shutting her eyes again losing herself in the music. It was so much easier to be free in the dark. She felt as if she wasn't being judged by anybody. If she had kept her eyes open, she would have noticed the shocked expression in his face before he wrapped his hands around her waist.

A few minutes passed of them dancing crazily and screaming, until she opened her eyes again and noticed how close they were. She stopped jumping and began observing things she'd never noticed before like the little mole beneath his right eye.

It wasn't long before he noticed that she'd stopped dancing and he too stopped to curiously observe her. Alyssa leaned towards him and he mirrored her action. Alyssa shut her eyes when their lips were mere centimetres away from each other.

He leant away, swearing to himself before spinning on his heel. Alyssa watched as he turned his back on her and walked away.

For she knew she'd never be good enough for him.

Alyssa too spun around and walked as far away as she could. What was she doing? This is why Alyssa didn't have friends. She got too caught up in the moment. Alyssa cursed herself for even thinking that something would happen. And what hurt more was that she knew what she was getting herself into the moment she accepted a lift. It was all wrong.

And she needed to show that it was a mistake. By going away crying, Alyssa was only showing that it meant something. It was an accident and she needed to prove that.

When she looked at herself in the toilet's mirror, she wiped her tears telling herself to grow up and stop being a child. It wasn't supposed to happen which was why it didn't.

Refusing to overthink anything, she entered the room again searching for William. Before thinks got awkward, Alyssa was going to apologise.

Her heart stopped.

The music around her dimmed until the only thing she could hear was her heavy breathing. Maybe she was imagining? Maybe she had drank too much? She looked back up, confirming her worst fears. For sitting on the sofa in the corner of the room was William kissing a brunette as if his life depended on it. Her hands were wildly running through his hand before hooking themselves around his neck.

Alyssa couldn't take it. She turned around dropping the cans that were in her hand, rushing towards the counter. It hurt. It really hurt.

And there she was, going to tell him that it was an accident. If it was an accident, would seeing him with somebody else hurt so much? Clearly it was nothing to him, she thought bitterly to herself, taking a swing at whoever's drink was on the table.

How many times did she have to tell herself that she meant nothing, for her stupid brain to understand? She took another swing. If he was used to snogging anything or anyone, why couldn't he have just kissed her and ended it all? Was she too ugly? She took a drink again. Was her body that bad? She took a gulp.

Did she not deserve it? She chugged a random cup that was on the worktop.

Then another.

And another.

And another.