John Murphy | Imagines & Preferences

Imagine // But Her.

For Bellamy, it was an odd thing to see Murphy act so... so relax and sweet. So caring. This wasn't the Murphy he'd trusted and then sent away like nothing. This wasn't the Murphy that had lusted after killing a child because of a death he got blame for. And this was definitely not the Murphy he'd be strung up by and taunted by all for revenge.

This Murphy was almost, childlike. Smiling and laughing with his hands around your waist in enjoyment. Murphy almost didn't care that he, Bellamy, was standing right before him, his eyes stuck on the two figures before him. If this had been any other time, Bellamy was positive that the boy would've flung forward to hit him or punch him or kick or something.

Instead he was too busy laughing at something you whispered in his ear.

Bellamy before had thought Murphy wasn't even capable of loving something. Bellamy knew for a fact the boy didn't even love himself, despite how hard he tried to hide it. Bellamy could see in the boys eyes the hatred he felt for himself, because now, Bellamy felt the same way.

There was a darkness in his eyes that could only explain his rather arrogant and bold act, because he was trying to protect himself from being hurt. But now, that was lost and was replaced by happiness.

"Bellamy," said man blinked, confused as he refocused on the image of you and Murphy. You smiled at him, waving. "You went silent, everything okay?" You asked, Murphy just watched on with a small smile, not really saying anything.

Bellamy grinned, even if he didn't mean it and shook his head; "no. I am fine."

"You sure Bellamy?" Murphy asked, his voice rough with the hint that he may not care.

You rolled your eyes, "if you don't mean it, don't say anything John." There was another thing. You called Murphy 'John' which was odd in itself, Bellamy heard that Murphy never allowed anyone to call him by that name, but you were apparently an exception.

"Anyways," you suddenly clapped. "It's nice of you to join us, Bellamy. I am gonna just take a shower, get settled."

With that you walked away and Bellamy and Murphy were left with their awkward silence. Murphy walked up to the stove, playing around with the soup he'd been working on before.

"How?" Bellamy murmured.

"You're gonna have to be more clear than that Bellamy." Murphy teased, not looking at Bellamy.

"How can you love her?"

"Excuse me?" Murphy asked, his voice rough and suddenly cold. He turned daggers at Bellamy, "there is absolutely nothing wrong with Y/N, so-"

"No, you can't love someone unless you love yourself first." Bellamy shook his head, confused.

Murphy stayed silent, before it clicked. "Bullshit. I have never loved myself. But her, oh god. I loved her so much I forgot what hating myself felt like." With a small smile he finished, he turned back to the stove leaving Bellamy in his thoughts.

Author: justauthoring