Quiver

The go-to Girl

There was a girl I used to know. There was a girl I used to, like a sister, love. There was a girl who had her troubles. There was a girl who wasn't raised right. There was a girl who made me happier, but hurt me through the night. The was a girl who needed help. Help that I couldn't give her. There was a girl who used to be my go-to girl, until I knew she was lost forever.

I have my darkest secrets, my greatest pains and fears. I've told her many stories, and let her dry my tears. But some parts of me were mine, for no one else to know. She didn't care about my privacy, she wanted to know them all.

When we were younger, we got into a huge fight. We didn't talk for months, but the argument wasn't right. I was treating her fine, but she wanted what I had. And so she called her dad and walked out with what I had.

I soon felt sorry, and apologized months on. But I shouldn't have felt sorry, I got the situation wrong. And over through the years, this was played on repeat. She would treat me wrong, but friendship I let her keep.

And though we fought more often than not, the good outweighed the bad. We took on the world together, smiling, feeling glad. I have many happy memories with this particular girl, and so I'll choose to remember us taking on the world.

There was times I didn't know her, when she got angry and mad. She'd tell me all that's wrong with me, and I'd let her- just as bad. She had her own problems, she wasn't treated right. But she took it out on me, until she went too far one night.

Really, I had let her insult me. I didn't stand up for myself. It was only last Sunday night, when she pushed out my breath. She became a different person, she wanted me to drink. But when I said no, she left me at the brink.

I've never seen her angrier, but I still wanted to help. She deserved to know right from wrong, and live a better life. All along that's what I wanted most, to heal her hurt as we got close. But she needed help I couldn't give her, so I give into defeat. But no longer with I let her destroy me.

After many years of letting this go on, I realize now that me go-to girl has been long gone.