Blinding pain is much more different than normal pain. At first it's nothing, your mind has yet to grasp whatever is so terrible and so hurtful. You're fine, maybe for however long the conversation lasts, until slowly you comprehend the past events.
Maybe it was direct or indirect, maybe someone said it to you or maybe someone said it to someone else who told you. Maybe you new you would lose someone, maybe you didn't. Maybe they didn't mean it, maybe they did. Maybe it doesn't matter.
The second you're alone it will hit you. The second nobody is watching for your reaction. The second you don't need to fake a smile and pretend you don't mind. It's that second when you realize the power and pain of what events had just occurred.
Blinding pain comes in waves. You feel numb and useless, almost as if you were floating. Then it hits your body hard you can barely breathe choking on your sobs. Afterwards you lose basic abilities, such as to write or read or talk or think. The words repeating over and over in your head.
The worst part about blinding pain is that it "blinds" you with pain. Everything else disappears so you are left to confront what has left you so hurt, so low self esteemed. On days like today I've had a good dose of blinding pain.
STAI LEGGENDO
Quiver
Poetrya place where I've written my feelings when I felt them. it has become a story of depression and recovery, love and loss, hope and fear, and everything in-between. mostly poetry, sometimes stories. :)
