I used to have this false idea about recovery- that there was an issue and that once I learned how to solve it I would and it would disappear. That that would be the end of it. But truthfully that could not be farther from honesty.
My problems then are not my problems now. The improvement I've made is so beautiful and vast it could cover oceans and valleys now flourishing. There are still parasites in the sea and there are still weeds in the fields.
I have issues... many. A lot of them that effect and hamper my daily life. I am not oblivious to them or what they do. I do not ignore them, I know very well what they are. Things will be before they heal, or so I've found for myself.
I would not want to live if life ceased to be troublesome, what good is goodness if we know no other way? They say ignorance is bliss but I find it to be false. Bliss is acceptance, bliss is peace, bliss is breathing for yourself and no other.
I love living and breathing and I love myself to death. I could say nothing close to those words a year ago. But look at me! I'm happy. Truly happy. I can only say those things because of the slow, difficult and painful, improvement I've made.
But there is still so much more for me to do. So many mountains to climb and lakes to swim. I wish to see thousands of more sunsets and learn how to be me. I am floating on the water that is our Earth but I'd be lying if I said I still wasn't struggling.
I am still struggling. A lot. But I'm not afraid of it. There are so many journeys I will venture on! I will develop to be even stronger and greater than I am today. I accept myself for who I am still, and I'll accept myself for I become. Improvement is an adventure, and I'm happy to be on it.
YOU ARE READING
Quiver
Poetrya place where I've written my feelings when I felt them. it has become a story of depression and recovery, love and loss, hope and fear, and everything in-between. mostly poetry, sometimes stories. :)
