Quiver

Better Now

For those who knew what lay in my past

I tell them that I'm better now

I tell them that I crave life

I tell them I set down the knife.

I tell them how I love my reflection

how I love my smile and eyes

I let them know how I fell in love

with myself this time

I explain now how I love to have fun

love to scream and giggle and laugh

I tell them that my burning desire

is a fire that will always last

I tell them how I love the world

how I even learned to love my fears

how I find calm amidst the storm

how I found clarity among my tears

I tell them how I smile when I wake

when the light seeps through my windows

I tell them how I learned to love mornings again

how I once again became a morning bird.

The fountains of my sadness and the meadows of my light

the caves of my anxiety and the mountains of my courage

I learned to embrace my flaws and strengths

I learned how to control them, too.

I don't tell them about that August night

the first relapse in so long

I don't tell them how I recovered

because of one empowering song

I don't tell them how I cried and wept

and prayed for a better tomorrow

I don't tell them how I picked myself up

and mastered healing my sorrows.

I don't try to explain what relapses are

how they occur so rarely

as I don't want them to ever worry

I feel I wouldn't be treating them fairly

and the words, from my mouth they flew

I'm better now. And for once, it's true.