100 Books in 2018

2/if i was your girl by meredith russo

read: 03.01.18 - 04.01.18

book: If I Was Your Girl

author: Meredith Russo

blurb: Amanda is the new girl in school. Like anyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is keeping a secret, and she's determined not to get too close to anyone.

But when she meets sweet, easygoing Grant, Amanda can't help but start to let him into her life. As they spend more time together, she realizes just how much she is losing by guarding her heart. She finds herself yearning to share with Grant everything about herself, including her past. But Amanda's terrified that once she tells him the truth, he won't be able to see past it.

Because the secret that Amanda's been keeping? It's that at her old school, she used to be Andrew. Will the truth cost Amanda her new life, and her new love?

review: I bought this book the minute I started hearing reviews of it, and I was so excited to read it because of the fact that it has a trans MC which is something you don't see in books very often. One of my goals this year is to read more diversely, and so I thought this would be a great start to completing that goal.

But, I have two very conflicting opinions on this book. On the one hand, I'm so glad a book like this exists. There is so much underrepresentation for the trans community, and this book is accessible and widely enjoyed by all ranges of people which is what makes it so good. I was really moved by some of the flashbacks Amanda had about her past, and in general the discussion about her gender dysphoria before was really important and interesting to me. I don't know how accurate the representation was as I am a cisgendered person, but there have been lots of good reviews for this book from the trans community (although there have also been lots of bad reviews).

Okay but here's my problem with it. It's nothing to do with Amanda or any of the characters at all. It's just the main storyline. So Amanda is moving to a new school with this secret, it's okay so far. I cannot tell you how cliche and unrealistic her high school experience is. Everything from the things these teenagers do to what they say just seems like it's come straight out of a 2008 teen romcom. Towards the end the storyline did become deeper, but it all felt so shallow and superficial throughout.

Overall, I would recommend this to anyone to who already knows they like YA romance. If you're someone who usually doesn't enjoy fluffy romance novels then maybe this isn't quite for you, but I encourage you to read if you are interested. It has cemented the idea that sometimes YA romance is just too much for me, and that I don't enjoy it most of the time.

rating: 7/10