Accidentally yours

Chapter 41

|Nikita|

After 3 months...

xx Day 90 without you xx

"I won't lie to you, the past few months my heart has been aching. You won't hear my cries coz it's all coming from inside. These things are pulling up my heart strings and i can only hear the saddest of melodies. The stop button seems to be broken and i am tired of listening the cries over and over. 3 months has been passed and a life is in the process of developing inside me. Every single day I've been dying inside waiting for you to come and hold me in those arms I've been craving for since long. I am trying to be strong for our child but this is not easy Virat! I want you by my side. I want you to fulfil my 2am cravings and to hear my early morning rants. Don't break this hope Virat! The hope of waiting for you is the only reason i am living with. The more i try not to think about you the more i end up spilling out my cries over here which you'll never read.
I love you vee♡"

Yet another mail which got saved in drafts.

Its been more than 3 months i shifted here to Australia and my first trimester of pregnancy was about to over. By god's grace everything was fine and the development of the child was normal like it should be. It's beyond amazing feeling to know that a life is inside you. My child! I was going to be a mother after 6 more months. This thought brought goosebumps every time wondering how will i handle this without Virat. These 3 months were full of difficulties but most importantly they were without Virat.

Was i ready for all this?

Not at all! Like other girls i wasn't having a dream of any perfect grand wedding, i just wanted marry the imperfect person whose flaws were also perfect for me and that was Virat but who knew life would turn this miserable towards me. Leaving behind my dreams and career i was here in the process of becoming a mother. It's been more than 90 days and every week i wrote a mail to Virat counting the days I've been surviving without him which ultimately goes to the drafts section every time. No matter how much i wanted to call him and spill out where i am, scream at him of how the hell could he leave me alone, cry over his shoulder, kiss him without stopping to let him know how much i missed him, slap him hard on his face for giving me the punishment of the crime i never did. Tell him he was going to be a father in few months. I couldn't , i just couldn't do it! I had promised myself to leave everything on destiny this time.

I took a deep breathe before coming out of my bed and went outside where Anusha was preparing the breakfast. My body has been changed a lot after the first trimester. The baby bump has come. I was no more looking like a model but i could feel another kind of glow on my face.

"Heya! Morning! Here are your oats and milk" She came holding the tray in her hand.

Now i have to say Anusha was literally behaving like my mom would if she were here.

"Oats? I hate oats Anusha!" I made a disgusting face.

"Are you kidding me niks? Just tomorrow you almost dragged me out of house to bring oats!" She looked amazed.

"I don't know! I don't wanna eat it now! I want pasta." I pouted.

Okay so i admit my mood swings was annoying Anusha at its peak. Every time i asked her to cook something and then later on i would deny to eat it but she never complained or shouted at me for this. She would just laugh at my behavior and pull it off.

"You and your mood swings! You know what more than you i need Virat here!" She chuckled a bit and i looked down frowning.

"I wish!" I spoke in a low voice.

She sensed my sadness and immediately changed the topic.

"ohoooo! I'll come with your pasta and now please tab tak mood mat badal lena" She chuckled and left from there.

I switched on the tv and changed to sports channel. In all these months i've been seeing Virat like this only. His SA series was over and that means he'll be back to India anytime. I wondered in all these months had he thought about me? had he tried to contact me? had he ever missed me the way i missed him?

Or he had just forgotten me? This thought shatters me into pieces every single time. Isn't it strange how a person can have such a huge influence on you? Removing these thoughts from my mind i moved my eyes towards tv.

My eyes lit up seeing my man at the last press conference before leaving for India. I don't know why a feeling of satisfaction arrived knowing that he was coming back though i wasn't in India now but still a thought that may be he'll come up looking for him was still keeping me alive.

"So! Virat how do you feel about your yet another century in the last match?" One of the reporters asked while Anusha came with a plate of pasta in her hands and sat besides me.

"Obviously it feels good but not more than the team win. If i score a century and my teams fails then the century is nothing for me and even if my 30 could contribute to the win that would be more important for me" I wish i could take him out of Tv and hug him to the fullest.

"Okay sir! A out of cricket question. Your lady luck doesn't seem to be with you now-a-days? Is that a sign of something?" Another reporter asked nervously.

My breath got hitched right there as he asked about me. I gulped down in fear not knowing if he'll say something or will just burst out of anger.

The camera turned towards Virat and i could see his eyes getting little teary whilst his face became pale all of a sudden. My heart ached to see him like this.

For the first time after our separation his face wasn't angry but of guilt listening to my name. But why? My curiosity of what he'll speak was on another level now.

"Yes! It's a sign that i have to make up for so many things! I won't be talking more on this. Thank you!" With that he stood up ending the conference.

Sign to make up for things?

Did he? Did he mean of getting back to me? Did he realized something? Can i see a ray of hope?

I closed my eyes tightly shut to remember every moment we were together. Even the tinniest of it, even the rarest of it. They were beautiful coz you were in it. Words between you and me have taken a full stop. Virat this distance is killing me from inside. Come soon else these wounds would become so deep that their healing will be difficult and till then i might lose my own self.

"Kehte hai dua qubool hone ka bhi ek waqt hota hai, hairan hoon mai ki maine tumhe kis waqt nahi maanga"