suicide || h.s ✔

twenty nine - past

{Edited}

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I didn't have time to respond to Kaylee. We were soon being ushered onto the stage to start performing. I was pulled out of the room but I never broke eye contact with Kaylee until we had to turn the corner and get underneath the stage. My mind was in a different place right now. I almost missed my part to start singing. Didn't she still love me? Or did she only ever love the idea of me? I looked out into the crowd and saw fans screaming and crying. I needed to forget about Kaylee. I needed to focus on this concert. People were here to see me, and I'm not going to disappoint.

"Straight off the plane to a new hotel..."

***

"Great concert lads," Niall's parents said to us. We thanked them and went into our dressing rooms to get showered real quick. We were spending two days here so we were going out to dinner after the lads and I were clean, which means Oliver was coming too. Great. If I have to watch them be all lovey dovey then I'm walking out and heading back to the tour bus. I can't watch the girl I am in love with, love someone else.

Once we were finished getting showered and changing our clothes, Niall's dad came over to us. "Are you lads ready to head over to Nando's?"

Niall's head perked up and he ran out to the van. Nando's is his favorite place on earth, I don't blame him though because their Perri Perri Chicken is pretty damn delicious. I looked over to his dad, "I guess Niall's read."

He chuckled and I followed him to the van. Soon, we pulled into the parking lot of Nando's. It was late out so there was really nobody even here besides one car. Leaving our hoods down, we all walked into the place.

"Hi, you guys can sit where ever you want. I will be right over to take your order for drinks." We nodded at the waitress and headed over to the long table in the back. Paul was here with us with another body guard outside the place in case any fans or paparazzi came, which I highly doubt that they would. Knowing our fans they might find out since I'm pretty sure half of them work for the FBI or something.

"Do you guys know what you're getting?" Niall's mum asked us.

"Mum, I know this menu by heart," Niall replied, which is true because wherever there was a Nando's, Niall insisted that we went to 'check it out'. Check it out my ass, he just wanted their food.

"Yeah, I know what I am getting," I said, closing the menu in front of me. We soon all agreed about knowing what we are getting besides Oliver. What a shocker.

"Uh, I have actually never been here before." Niall gawked at him, probably feeling offended.

"It's alright, babe, I will order for you. Niall and I used to come here almost every Friday," Kaylee said, grabbing Oliver's menu and closing it. He just smiled and kissed her on the cheek while my heart broke some more. I turned away from them, watching as the waitress from earlier came over to us.

"Hi, my name is Stacey, can I take your orders?" We listed off what we wanted and she wrote everything down, saying that it might take about twenty minutes but she'd come back with our drinks. Niall had to order so much shit. Where the hell does it even go?

"Oh by the way, you lads are amazing. I don't want to seem annoying but would it be alright to get your autographs before you leave?" Stacey shyly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and just smiled softly.

"Of course!" Liam said, "Were you at the concert tonight?"

She frowned, "No, I wasn't able to make it. I couldn't get the money. But that's alright because I was here on shift and here you guys are!"

Looking over at Paul, he simply nodded my head and that's when I began speaking, "Well we are here for two nights and we always have extra tickets. I could give you two front row tickets and two VIP tickets for the sound check before the show and meet and greet, only if you want it."

I could tell that Stacey was trying not to scream. Her smile stretched all the way across her cheeks. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, oh my God thank you so so so much!" I knew what was happening, she was having a fangirl attack.

She calmly walked back to the kitchen but none of us missed the scream we heard.

***

It was late when we got back to the tour bus at the stadium. Oliver went home and so did Niall's parents. They bid us goodnight and told us they would see us the next day. Kaylee came back with us. She wanted to catch up on everything with us since we haven't seen her in a few months.

"Harry, can we talk in private?" Kaylee asked as soon as we got onto the bus. I nodded, taking her by the wrist and leading her to the back of the bus. There was an extra bed in there. The lads already went to bed ten minutes ago, but I locked the door anyway. She sat on the bed and I sat next to her, making sure there was some space in between us. This was awkward.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked her.

"Well I wanted to make sure that the thing with Oliver and I isn't, well, awkward or anything."

I sighed, I can't tell her the truth so I simply told a little white lie (haha), "No, not at all."

"Harry, be honest with me." She could always see right through me.

I scoffed, "I am being honest with you."

Kaylee frowned and turned to her side so that she was facing me, "No you're not. I know you well enough to know when you're lying"

"Fine, you want the truth?" She nodded her head', "Yes, it bothers me that you have a boyfriend. I could have gotten a girlfriend easily but I waited for you. I figured that after you were finished your rehab and I got my shit together, then we could work things out. There were so many opportunities where I could have taken a girl on a date, but I didn't because I'm still in love with you."

Kaylee just stared at me, her eyes wide, "That's the thing, Harry. You can't love me anymore, you need to get over me. We are bad for each other an-"

I cut her off, standing up abruptly, "So what if we are bad for each other?! Two good people together would never work out but two negatives always make a fucking positive. Kaylee, I can love whoever the fuck I want to love and I can't stop loving you especially if you actually made me happy and forgot about the hate I received from my 'fans'. You aren't the only person who gets hurt in this world so stop being selfish and acting like it's you against this world because frankly, this world is too big to be against someone as little as you."

She sighed, standing up with me and looking up at me. We just stared at each other for a while before I said, "Do you even love Oliver?"

"I don't know."

"So did you even love me? Or were you just in love with the idea of me? I can't keep playing these mind games, they aren't good enough for either of us."

"God, Harry, you're being selfish too right now! Of course I fucking loved you. Love. I still love you, you big, giant, curly, haired idiot. God, you're just like me."

"I know."

"You infuriate me so fucking mu-" I cut her off mid-sentence and smashed my lips onto hers. This kiss wasn't passionate. No, it was rushed and fiery. It was a messy kiss, our teeth clashing together and our tongues were battling. I pushed her onto the bed, breaking our kiss and just staring at her. I slowly crawled my way up to her lips, pinning her body to the bed.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"We're having make up sex."

"We've never had sex before and I have a boyfriend."

I sighed, "Let's pretend that we are still together and we are making love."

She blushed, thought for a minute and just said, "Fuck it, whose Oliver?"

Kaylee pulled my head down to her lips and started kissing me. This kiss was calmer and our lips fit together like a puzzle. She wrapped her hands into my hair and tugged lightly. I broke away from the kiss and trailed kisses down her neck, to her shoulders, and then to her breasts. She wrapped her legs around my back and soon, all of our clothes were on the tour bus floor.

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