My Life as Leia

Chapter 55 - Struggling

A/N: Uh, um. . .heh. Wow. Hey guys. . .long time no see. . . ? ^_^

How's everybody doing? Still out there? Happy Easter, to those of you that celebrate it! :)

I know I start every chapter with an apology for a long absence, so I'll just say this: this story ain't over yet!!

Life is hectic, my dudes. But the show must go on!! And I WILL finish this story, if it's the last thing I do! Onward!!

Some replies:

changingdestiny40: Intense indeed. Ah, no, Motti agrees with the Empire...he just doesn't always like his boss that much. Don't worry - he's okay...probably :p As to Reylo...well. I dunno if I *ship* it. They do seem to have somethin' going on between them, but I don't know if it's romance. We'll have to wait and see what happens XD

Nobodythestormcrow: Hey there! Yessshhhh, Leia is definitely her father's daughter. The coathanger will come in handy! They always do, they always do :p

Alrighty, folks. Here we go! As always (yeesh), feel free to skim the last chapter if you want. We gonna keep chuggin steadily forward.

Not two seconds after her uncalled-for outburst of anger, Leia lowered her arm in horrified realization. Her steely expression softened again, making her look more like herself and less like a furious monster.

Lips parted in shock, Leia's breaths came quickly and heavily. That feeling of uncontrolled rage was fading rapidly, only to be replaced by some sort of exhaustion.

Leia felt oddly hollow.

Luke was the first to jump back into action. He shook his head hard and ran over to Motti.

The Imperial was unconscious, but breathing. That was good, though. Right. . . ? Luke wasn't sure how to feel about anything, at the moment.

Leia slumped back against the wall, panting and wincing at the new ache in her chest. Something was wrong. Usually she was so much better at holding back—why had she lashed out like that?

And more importantly, what were they supposed to do now?

With a sinking feeling of dread, Leia mumbled, "We have to leave."

Luke looked over his shoulder at her and said, "What?"

"We have to leave," Leia repeated, louder.

"Wha—Leia, we can't just leave him like this!" Luke declared, turning back to Motti.

Leia had always prided herself in her practiced ability to think on her feet. Usually (key word, usually), she was able to come up with a half-decent plan that worked out well enough.

But for reasons of circumstance, Leia's mind had drawn a complete blank, and she couldn't think about anything other than the feeling in her stomach. The hollow, empty, cold feeling.

Motti's words rang and echoed in Leia's ears.

Evil.

Murder.

Betray.

Destroy.

Leia swallowed, replaying the moment over and over and over again.

Was she really meant to be evil? Meant to be like her. . .father?

"Leia!" she heard Luke call. Her focus snapped back into reality, then, but she didn't reply.