My Life as Leia

Epilogue

Diary of Leia Organa

I used to think the galaxy was simple. Well, okay, maybe not simple. But I guess I never realized how complicated things were, or how complicated I could make them.

When you're thirteen, anything is possible. Your life has barely begun, and you have infinite opportunities to look forward to. And you think you have everything planned out, like you know what's going to happen. You think you're in control.

You're not.

Life isn't that easy. Life is hard and complex and upside down and confusing. Sometimes bad things happen and you have to stare them right in the eyes and move forward. Because you have to. Because that's just how things work, and you can't let one little problem get in your way.

Except sometimes it's not "little". Life, as I've found out, throws you massive curve balls, and just when you think you're doing great, you have to duck and run the other way. You're not in control. No one is. You can't change the way things happen. But you can change how you respond to them. Instead of running away, face the problem head-on. Don't back down. Keep going. Things will work out as you go.

As a kid, I thought the rest of the galaxy was this big mysterious adventure waiting to happen. That if I ever got to explore it, I would be living the best life anyone could have. I was so focused on ME. On what I wanted and what I thought. That was stupid. There are so many people out there, living their own separate lives. People who have it way worse than I do. I mean, look at me! I live in a palace, with two parents who love me. That's more than most people have already.

It's crazy how one small decision can alter the course of your entire life. I chose to run away. And look where it brought me. I have a twin brother and my father is Darth Vader and I went to Tatooine and Coruscant and had visions and I have powers and I think I might even love someone the way my mom loves my dad. All of that. . .if I had never left, I wouldn't know any of it. So in that way, I'm grateful for whatever possessed me to take off in the first place.

But on the other hand, now I have the consequences. A lot of them. Like, way more than you could imagine. For one thing, I literally worried my parents half to death, because I'm their only daughter (and heir to the throne. . .) and they thought I was gone for good. The entire planet of Alderaan was in a mourning period because I was gone. Sometimes I forget that I'm a princess. For crying out loud, an entire planet of people is counting on me to lead them one day, and what did I do? I disregarded that. Again, everything was about ME and it shouldn't have been. So the whole planet is freaking out, now that they know I'm here and alive and everything. My parents are planning some sort of celebration ceremony for later this week, to announce my return or whatever. See, if I was just a normal girl, they wouldn't be making it into this big ordeal. And. . .

I had to lie to my parents. The story that I told them was true. . .

From a certain point of view.

(Thanks, Ben, I'll be using that one a lot.)

They don't know about Luke. Or anything about Vader. Or the Force. They know I hopped aboard a ship and rode around the galaxy on it. But for all they know, I never left it and just became good friends with the pilot. And I feel like a dirty lying idiot for telling my parents that, especially after what I did to them already by being missing.