I'll Find You

Fall Away

I'm dying and trying
But believe me I'm fine
But I'm lying
I'm so very far from fine
——Fall Away, Twenty One Pilots

March 4, 2018

As exhausted as Grayson was by the events of the past week, he still didn't sleep very late.  But he didn't want to disturb Cait, so he made his way to the kitchen, finding Rae already awake.

"How are you doing?" she asked him gently.

"I'm fine," Grayson said with a frown.  "I'm not the one that's recovering from major surgery."

"Still," Rae returned his frown, "this can't be easy for you either.  We all had a bit of a scare and now she's got to recover and right after she finally got home.  That's a lot to deal with, Grayson.  Especially with your season in the home stretch. This all has to be pretty emotional for you."

Grayson shook his head.  "I'm so relieved that she's okay, Rae," he said.  "Anything else is minor."

"She's not okay yet, Grayson," Rae told him.  "You said it.  She had major surgery."

"Okay, fair point," Grayson conceded.  "You're the professional.  How long until she's recovered?"

"Physically, about four weeks."  But Rae studied him now.  "But she's pretty shaken up, Grayson.  I know we all think she's so strong, but right now she feels like her body betrayed her.  I think it scared her.  This wasn't her wrecking on skis or anything.  This was something that just happened, that she had no control over. It reminds her of her mother's illness."

Grayson pondered that for a second. "But she doesn't have cancer," he pointed out. "This isn't an ongoing thing. Once she recovers, she'll be fine."

"You're right," Rae admitted, with a sigh. She knew Cait hadn't wanted to get into the potential ramifications of her surgery with Grayson right now. She wanted him to enjoy the end of his time at Duke. "Just don't discount the psychological impact. That's where you're the expert, right?" She smiled at him.

Grayson sighed and ran a hand into his hair. "Not sure I qualify as an expert, but I think I get what you're saying. She's got a lot to deal with. Not only this, but not skiing and trying to catch up with her school work. I get it."

"At least the surgery made the justification for her not being in Switzerland easy enough," Rae sighed.

Grayson nodded at that. The US Ski Team had been prepared to announce that Cait wouldn't finish the season on the day she wound up in the hospital. Instead, the story given to the press was pretty close to the truth, that she'd required abdominal surgery and therefore was unable to ski.  But with the Olympics over, skiing was barely a blip on the sports radar.

Rae bit her lip now, looked at him. "Just keep an eye on her, Grayson. At least as best you can. I know you're busy, but I'm concerned about her."

*****
Before they could dwell too much longer, four parents showed up at the house. Grayson's mother immediately started making breakfast for everyone, Rae helping her in the kitchen.  Joan went upstairs, but reported that Cait was still sleeping.

Coach had given them the day off, so Grayson didn't have to rush out to practice. He knew everyone would be leaving later in the afternoon, so he tried to just enjoy their company. He intended to spend his free time resting for the upcoming grind and taking care of Cait, at least until he had to leave for New York.