I'll Find You

Big Girls Don't Cry

Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
——Big Girls Don't Cry, Fergie

Cait stared at the door in shock after he left. She'd made a complete mess of this. Of them.

She knew it, but right now she didn't have the energy to stay and try to clean it up. She doubted that was even possible. She was exhausted. And emotional.  The past few months had absolutely done her in. Skiing. Constantly worrying  about Grayson. The Olympics. His season. Her meltdown. His struggles. Her surgery.  Not skiing. The media. Her school work. The tournament. Her fears. And now this.

She couldn't deal with all of it anymore. She needed to try to wrap her head around everything, around what a horrible mistake she'd made. She just needed to get away. He'd walked out. And she couldn't stay to wait to see if he would come back.

For the first time in her whole life, Caitlin Callahan was running from a fight.

*****
Grayson slammed the Jeep into park and sat there breathing in and out. Something told him he should go back. But he couldn't. He was too angry right now.

She'd lied to him. She could say that she'd been trying to protect him, but he wasn't having it. He needed her to be his partner, not his protector.

He got out and headed for the gym. His dad was blowing up his phone with all the crap about signing with the agent, about draft stuff. He couldn't deal with any of it right now. He was going to work out until he was dead tired. Until he was more calm. Until he could go home without being tempted to wring her pretty neck.

And he needed to figure out what he was going to say to her. He was furious that she'd kept this from him, but did it really make any difference?  He still loved her. What kind of person, what kind of man, did she think he was that she thought this would change anything for him?  She was more to him than a vessel to procreate with.  Was that really all she thought he wanted from her? But then he realized all the things he'd said to her. How many times had he talked about the future without mentioning children? Never. From the first time he told her he wanted to marry her, he'd always mentioned babies.

He, of all people, knew that family didn't have to be blood related. He couldn't love Tonan any more, even if they'd been biological siblings. Luke was his brother in every way that mattered. So why did she not think they could still have a family?

But that led to a whole other wave of anger. She should have had more faith in him. Should have known that he would be able to handle this. Did she really think he was so fragile that this would send him over the edge?

The more rational part of his brain realized that she hadn't wanted to be a distraction, that she really had wanted him to have every opportunity to finish his Duke career the way he wanted. But he needed to be able to balance basketball with the rest of his life.  He couldn't go through a professional career letting basketball push everything else aside, push her aside.  And she should have known that.

Grayson gritted his teeth and headed for the gym. This was one of those times when he needed to cool down before they tried to fix this.

*****
Cait used the small amount of energy she had to spring into action, fighting tears the whole time. She threw some things in a bag. While she was doing that, she thought about where to go. She grabbed her laptop and quickly started researching flights.