The Risk To Love

CH 44: Left Raw & Reeling

Listen to Electric by Alina Baraz (feat. Khalid)

Chapter 44

"Even better!" Abbie exclaimed. Jay just shook her head in denial but her reddened cheeks said otherwise.

I couldn't help but think of why he'd wanna break up with Amber. She had been overly clingy lately and I think Morgan finally cracked from her crazy. He didn't seem that distraught though.

Jared Baker, one of the most buff and muscular jocks turned his attention to Abbie watching her chomp on a chocolate donut. It was probably her fourth one but we were all too scared to tell her to stop. "Damn B! You sure can fit alot in that tiny body of yours. How bout you and I see if-"

She wiped the sides of her mouth, putting her hand up to cut him short.

"Stop yourself right there Baker. First of all, you wouldn't be enough to satisfy my growing appetite and I already got a date with my home girl this afternoon," She shot me a wink. Ryder choked on a fry, shooting me a questioning expression but didn't say anything.

Jared looked impressed instead of disappointed. "Would ypu look at that. She finally learns to say no."

"I'm free," Brittany came back to the table her face filled with eagerness. Her super hearing must've heard an opportunity at getting one of Abbie's first rejections.

Jared scrunched his face, then smacked his forehead like he'd forgotten about something.
"I just remembered, Danny and I got that thing to do later, right Danny?" Jared said in a forced tone.

"Oh right! That thing was tonight?" Danny starts to play along asking with confusion. Ryder and I snort at how hard he was trying to get rid of her.

"Maybe I could tag along...for that thing," Brittany bit her lip anxiously. He scratched the back of his head with discern.

She shook her head."Or not at all...whatever," she rolled her eyes to try and play off how desperate she seemed.

"Don't worry hon. He'll be all over you when he's wasted at my party this week," Abbie attempted to comfort Brittany in a hushed whisper. Her mouth dropped open before she stomped off aggravated.

"I was comforting you!" Abbie said with a confused and discerned look.

"B, you basically said that Jared wouldn't give her the time of day if he were sober. Sounds more of an insult to me," Lia reasoned with her.

"Sorry, this is all just new to me," Abbie said flustered.

"Being nice?" Jay giggled along with the rest of us.

"Yeah...that," she scrunched her face and shrugged her shoulders as if disgusted by the word.

After a few extra laughs with the gang, the siren sounded signalling the end of lunch. The boys walked off in their big group with the girls breaking off in their separate ways. Ryder walked me to my next class but instead we took the longer route through the theatre which was empty.

"I needed you alone to tell you this," he said in a lower voice.

Checking my watch and tapping my foot, I bit my lip anxiously.

"Unless there's somewhere you need to be...." he dragged out darting his eyes from side to side.

I gave him a dry look. "Nah, just the next period. I mean, it's fine. It's not like I missed school for an entire week, " I said sarcastically.

He rolled his tongue under his lip looking off into the distance. "Hmm. So you weren't that hot girl who skipped class to watch me smoke under the bleachers that one time?" He said amusedly.

I rolled my eyes jumping onto the edge of the stage and swinging my legs. "What did you wanna tell me?" I asked pulling him closer making him crane his neck and hover. His smell was still intoxicating as ever making me feel warmth and protection.

His expression became more serious and his green eyes grew less lambent. "The guy who attacked you in the woods. He wasn't just a random, he was part of Devon's gang."

"Big D? B-but why me?" I asked with a stutter still trying to process this information.

He rubbed his stubbly jaw in thought. "My buddy, Marco found out that they were paid to get the job done."

"And how did your friend, Marco know this?"

"Because the job was offered to him first. He only just told me." he said lowly.

I'm sorry, come again?

I remained quiet, standing up and pacing back and forth across the stage. "So you're telling me, the gang that you're involved with,that I've never taken interest in because I knew you wouldn't let me anywhere near it, concerns itself with odd jobs like murdering another human being?!" I vented trying to make sense of it all.

"Well, when you put it like that we sound like the bad guys here but-"

"Well, aren't you?" I run my hands through my hair in frustration.

He sighed heavily. "Stop tryna start something out of nothing. It's no big deal," Ryder tried to play it off by reaching for my hand. That just enraged me more as I reeled back from his touch.

"I don't poke into your business cause I know you don't want me involved but now it's different! Your guys got offered a job to kill me! And I was a fool to think illegal racing was all there was to it," I murmured.

He opened his mouth to say something but never spoke, looking down at his shoes instead.

"Do you atleast know who it was?"

He trailed his eyes back on me. "No, it was anonymous. Just an envelope with half the cash promised if we'd carry out the task."

"Did you guys take the money though?"

He grew silent once more meaning that it was the end of the discussion.

I backed away from Ryder, jumping off the stage and walked through the rows of chairs.
"This gang you're apart of...I don't know much of it, y-you get pissed when I ask questions, you get mad silent when I ask about your real dad. Sometimes I feel like I barely know you," I whispered.

He clenched his jaw in deep thought. His face remained stubborn and stern.

"That's not important. What's important right now, is keeping you safe," He attempted to change the subject.

But I wouldn't let go of the topic that easily. My safety could wait.

"You've seen me in my darkest element, gotten a glimpse of how shitty my life really is. Aren't you ever gonna let me in on yours? I deserve that much." I turned around only to see that he'd shaken his head and began walking towards the exit.

Risk #26: He can't get away that easy

I let out a cynical laugh. "Are you kidding me? You're gonna cower and walk away when you don't feel like speaking to me? Man up! You don't get to play the victim card!" I stormed upto him with folded arms shouting at the top of my lungs.

He groaned aloud in annoyance. "God! You're a real piece of work, you know that?" He pressed his forehead.

"And you're acting like an asshole, you know that?!" I fired back poking his chest.

"I ger that you're taking out your anger and frustation out on me so I'm gonna let you cool down before you and I start saying things we'll regret later," he backed away his hands balled into fists. His mind was made up and his dark green eyes flared with an inconceivable look.

"Whatever," I say storming off into the opposite direction rolling my eyes.

A part of myself wanted him to come chasing after. To tell me to stop being moody. To console me. But we were both stubborn. Like how, Clay Jenson regretted not being there for Hannah Baker, I knew Ryder was the contrast He would definitely not regret this. He was gonna stand his ground and choose not to tell.

I guess, even if it meant losing me in the process.