trashcan (literal trash)

psychotic society

By being sick today and deciding to fuck classes in the face and not go to that hellhole, the fact that society is psychotic has been proven strongly by this exchange of words.

So just a few minutes ago, I was lying in bed with my dying organs, is2g, and I seriously couldn't get up with my headaches attacking again at the wrong times (but I AM glad it almost never goes bad at school). All I could do was wish that I could get my ass to school in order to get ideas from classmates so I can finally make my homework.

But boy, I seriously can't. I feel nauseous as fuck and everything was spinning around madly a little while ago. So of course, in order to avoid messing up at school (and letting people see how I am when I'm sick bc that's gotta suck), I decided not to go. Or maybe take a half day, if I'm going to feel a little bit better by the afternoon.

I was just peacefully (not really, with my constant battle with my struggling organs and a stubborn brain) staring at one of the pillows at my side, then a call just came on my phone. It was my father. I knew he was going to fucking pester me about not being up and awake despite ot literally being 6 in the morning.

Well, yeah, I do wake up 5, but he always expects me to already be at school by 6:15 or something like I'm a fucking officer among those military wannabes at school (yep, we get forced to do that stuff). So he calls and yells in my ear (through the phone) that I'm late and shit and I should start walking to school.

Well, technically, even though I don't really sleep in a room in the house, he knows if I'm still in my room by looking at the shoe rack outside.

Anyways, it went like this (minus the swearing).

He told me to fuck off and go be a responsible student.
So I replied with a simple "I texted you at 5 in the fucking morning about my current condition."

He rage-quitted and told me that I was being unreasonable, and even blamed the event organizers yesterday (since I went to this photoshoot where I hung around some cool cosplayers and got their facebook accounts because yes I am a total creep).

Why? Because I texted him that I, a noob of a human being, had been invited to the early birthday treat and afterparty of one of the organizers. And he says we ate poison or some shit, I didn't even care at that point anymore.

So I said "I am fucking sick." I seriously don't want to show up anywhere when I'm sick, so I was seriously against the idea of going to school. And oh, I really couldn't fucking move and open my eyes at all.

I was fine with him being mad at me because that's something I've actually pretty much grown immune to, but this was the most insulting part.

He said "what the actual fuck is with that, that's not an excuse to not go to school". Reminder, minus all the swearing so far.

Then he implied it would be alright for me to be sick but the activities and lessons I would miss by being absent from class is not okay. Everything is happening in my native language and IDK how to translate it accurately, so I'll just narrate it like that.

He literally fucking implied that nobody cares about my condition and that everything that matters is just my grades they're so set on getting me to excell in. "so what if you're sick? Your lessons are waiting. They might have a quiz and you'll miss it. Think of all the points you'll miss."

And I was like

Oh. Okay I see now.

Whoever invented the education system of the modern world, please come the fuck back to life and observe closely how your grading system affected the lives of the future generations. How something you thought would help us achieve our goals in the future is actually crushing them bit by bit infront of our very eyes, fuelled by the desire of this psychotic society to see high numbers on everything except bills (which is another issue i'd love to talk about).

He literally ended the call with a "rethink all your life decisions" kinda sentence and I was so fucking frustrated that I could only hold the phone tighter until I realized that it was my precious baby.

I've had enough and this sooo concludes the fact that society is so fucking psychotic. I don't want to get into detail about that conversation and the shit, of these people who made me and are now cursing me because apparently I'm a "waste of money", I've been hearing since 2008. But you get the idea of what I wanted to point out.

This is how psychotic the modern fucking world is. Everything revolves around numbers, ranks and superiority. Honesty is a fucking illusion and free will is nothing more than a childish dream. Also, they were talking about courses yesterday and they did all the drama about "not being allowed to choose their own course because the parents decide it for them" kinda drama. They turned to me and asked me, and of course, I was so tired of explaining problems to someone only to have them trying their best to compete against it for some odd fucking reason (one more proof why society is psychotic as hell) that I just shrugged. I just shrugged and said,

"Uh-huh, bitches yeah, we all can relate to that. Stop trying to appear as if you're the heaviest-burdened person in the whole world because that's the most minor issue most people are dealing with at the moment, not that I have the right to actually compare it, but you get my point. Just yeah, the dreams of your parents become your dreams."

Except for when they were actually lucky enough to have been chosen by fate to get good jobs and achieve their dreams when they were young. Oml the word "dreams" pisses me off so much is2g. I just don't like the way everyone thinks anymore.