trashcan (literal trash)

i actually "sleep-talk"?

Wait, no. I'm not quite sure if I really do this, but some funny shit's happened to me for two times as I remember now.

You see, those situations wherein you're finishing a sentence in your sleep then you suddenly wake up yelling the next word or phrase then going back to sleep. You only come to realize what you did by the time you open your eyes again.

So anyways, the first one I remember happening was when I was in the province (or countryside or something). I was having this dream about a fucking codex or some shit and a man in mysterious as hell robes, along with this crazy chick who's got some tall staff.

They were sacrificing me, I think.

And I was 'begging for God to save me'.
But I wasn't saved.
Despite my apparent 'innocence', I was left lying there, gurgling my own blood.
So idk what happened next, but I'm pretty sure I was having my final thoughts and shit. I woke up being an embarassing crap (and by that, I mean crying) and then I said,

"I never believed in God anyways."

In a voice I can recall was definitely not mine.

Sounds fucked and made-up, but dude. I'll never fucking lie about these unconscious mysteries.

So the second and most recent one happened just this morning. Pretty certain it was morning because it was already 00:00 when I decided to hit the hay (and scrolling through social media shit for a few little seconds after that decision has been conceived).

I remember I was dreaming about my class.

Yep.

This is the first fucking time my classroom had gotten involved. Well, besides having fallen victim to some bombing and becoming a terrorist hideout, that is.

Aaanyways...

We were having this meeting kind of shit and they triggered me. Oh god, as-fucking-usual. So it happened, and I suddenly started shouting a string of curses at them, because boy. My yelling and swearing habits are suddenly coming the fuck back. Probably because elementary is happening again.

O o p s .

Well, people I thought had potential to be considered friends are actually just the same, backstabbing literal bitches with a severe fucking case of superiority complex and crab mentality.

Back to topic now.

So they triggered me, and I began to point out shit about whatever was wrong with our setup. I don't exactly remember what they were talking about or doing that made me go ape shit, but I can recall them tryna act all cool and individual.

The last few lines I could remember were:

"If you think that's it, I'll fucking tell you it's not. Isolating yourself and shit is NOT something that would fucking make you fucking cool. If you're gonna keep that up, you can just go--"

(yes, in english and with all the swearing)

Then I woke up suddenly and I heard myself shout "DIE".

Then went back to sleep.

I'm woried about my aunt's opinion of me now even more xD

Anyways

Omg fuck it

"Guuurrrlsss" are really really complicated, I fucking swear to whatever God exists out there.