Part 56

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Ming was mess and anyone could see that. It was as if he wasn't control of his own emotions, his body and his brain anymore. He wanted to be brave, he wanted to fight but he wasn't strong enough to. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Kit's face as he told Ming that they can't continue, he could see how he left him alone and he hated him because of it or tried to.

He knew he was making the stupid mistake again but he couldn't control himself, he didn't want to shut himself anymore but he was too fed up to do anything other than lie on his bed and think of Kit. He couldn't control his tears or his heartache, his night sobs or his haunting nightmares. He was mess without Kit but unfortunately Kit didn't realize how much Ming needed him.

He would keep lying on his bed twirling in phone; he barely eats or sleeps now. His mother and Mark tried talking to him and he even did but it was of no use while Nate was scared he was going back to his old self. Max was too young to realize anything; all he cared was how much he misses Kit. He would cry almost everyday going in his room.

He wanted Kit, he needed Kit and he didn't know how he'll bear this distance, he didn't know how he'll survive now. He didn't want to go back to his old self but he had no control over his emotions or his action. He knew everyone was hurting, Mark, Nate, Max and his mother and he also knew him closing himself would hurt them even more and god knows how much he tried not to. How he would sit with Mark and sometime did play with Max but there was nothing but emptiness in his heart, it was like the air around him was suffocating and he could only breath in loneliness. He wished Kit would come back because he needed him, it was impossible to live without him.

He sniffled as his mind wonder over all the moments he had with Kit and he closed his eyes when he remembered his last words to Kit. Deep down Ming knew he didn't mean it, Kit was nothing like Liam, and he was cruel while Kit was the kindest person Ming has ever met. Liam was selfish while Kit was selfless, Liam played with Ming while Kit taught him the meaning of love. If anything Kit was the best thing that has ever happened to him and he wanted that back.

Ming immediately wiped his tears when the door to his room opened and in came Max with his tear streamed face breaking Ming's heart again. He hated his baby brother crying because of how much he misses Kit. Max stood their looking awkwardly at Ming not sure whether he was invited or not and it pierced Ming's heart even more. He opened his arms wide and Max came running hugging Ming tightly as his muffled sob accompanied Ming's quiet room.

"I miss him so much." Max cried breaking Kit's heart.

"I know Max..." Ming rubbed his back.

"It's so empty without him" he curled his fingers in Ming's shirt as his body shook with uncontrollable sobs. "I miss playing with him."

Ming didn't know what to say, how to assure the boy when the reality was Kit was never coming back to them so he just let him cry his heart out letting his tears fall too because Kit hasn't affected just him, his siblings love him the same. Ming kept whispering sweet nothings in his ear until his body got tired and he fell asleep in Ming's arms. He laid him down on bed beside him and sighed kissing his forehead.

He wished he could take this pain away for them all. 

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He looked down at the colorful drawing in his lap as hi colors danced over them, it was almost evening and he was bored as hell so he decided to do what he was best at, besides it was a good distraction and time pass for him. He could somehow avoid Ming and his face but one time he was too anxious to draw Ming.

He hummed in appreciation as he tapped his color on his chin before a knock sounded and his dad pocked in. "There's someone to see you." his dad informed him and he frowned. At first he thought it was his friends but when the visitor came inside Kit exhaled deeply and placed the drawing on the bed smiling at Ming's mum who smiled back sitting with him.

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm okay." Kit shrugged. "How's everyone?"

"Just fine." Ming's mum smiled sadly and Kit looked down at his lap. "They all miss you a lot, especially Max." Kit bit his lip ashamed.

"I miss them too, so much." he whispered. He looked at her for a while contemplating whether to ask what he wanted or not but in the end he couldn't resist so he asked, "How's Ming?" Mae's smile dropped and her shoulder sank making Kit gulp and look away.

"I don't know." she sighed and he frowned looking at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't know what is going on his head, I don't know how he is feeling all I know is he needs you Kit." Ming's mum placed his hand over his and he swallowed hardly. "He needs you so much, since you left he hasn't talk to us, he has closed himself just like before, and he won't eat or sleep or do anything. He just kept lying in his room." Kit gulped blinking the tears away as his heart broke, his head shook subconsciously as he realized how Ming was going back to his old habits, how he was closing himself again, something Kit fears.

"Oh God No." Kit gasped his mouth flying towards his mouth.

"He needs you dear he really does, and not just him we all do. You don't realize this but Ming needs you just as much as you do him." Mae squeezed his hand as his tears fell. "Kit love is something you don't push away because things are hard; love is something you fight for because it's worth fighting for. Life is full of struggle but if you push your love ones away you won't ever be able to overcome it." she wiped his tear and cupped his face. "I know things are crazy but that's what special about love, it doesn't matter how much crazy things are the only thing matters is you are together, Kit fight for you love because in the end that's all that matters, that's all you need." Kit couldn't help but let a sob escape his mouth and he hugged Ming's mum tightly who rubbed his back.

"I love him so much and I miss him terribly." Kit cried.

"Then don't punish yourself and him, Kit come back home we need you." Ming's mum said and he squeezed his eyes shut, suddenly life was getting too much for him. 

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