blackpink oneshots

happiness || jensoo

I was standing on her porch, my index finger frozen in front of the doorbell. I needed to do this. I needed to tell her. I didn't want to spend any more sleepless nights tossing and turning. I didn't want to spend any more days hungry but never quite being able to bring myself to eat. I didn't want to think about any more 'What-if's', 'maybes' and 'if-onlys'.

I needed to tell her I loved her.

And that I've been in love with her for years.

I knew she didnt feel the same way. She was head over heels with some brunette with watermelons for a chest. I knew she would never look at me like she looks at all those other girls.

I am her short, flat-chested, plain-Jane best friend, after all. I was there to help her get other girls. Then I was there to tell her how to break it off. I was there when she had problems. I was her shoulder to cry on. I was her best friend. We would never be anything more, would we?

I had to tell her now. Today. It was important. I was leaving the next day for college. This was something I had managed to keep a secret from her. It would be convenient if I told her today. Since the next day I was leaving the country, I wouldn't have to accidentally run into her. I could spare myself the embarrassment.

Sure, I'd be banging my head on the wall later, wondering how stupid I was to actually tell her. But I had to do it, I just had to. Now, when I still had an ounce of courage left.

I pushed my finger and the sound of a doorbell rang through.

Then suddenly, she was there. The girl who had broken my heart so many times in the past. The girl who had taken my breath away. The girl who had stopped my heart from breathing more times than I could count.

I took a deep breath. "Hey, Jisoo." I raised the corner of my lip tentatively. I couldn't muster a real smile. Not now, not today.

She was wearing a white wife-beater, and some of her old jeans. I remembered those jeans. I had pushed her in the pool once while she was wearing them. She had pulled me in with her.

Jisoo gave a yawn before nodding. The sunlight caught in her black hair and took my attention away from her beautiful deep brown eyes for a moment. But they were back there, with me managing to shake my head.

I had to do this. Strength, don't fail me now.

"I'd prefer it if we talked out here. Please, Jisoo?" I did my half smile again before striding towards the porch swing. I shifted towards the right and made space for her to sit in the left side. We just sat there for a few minutes before she turned towards me, raising one eyebrow. The sleep had not yet disappeared from his eyes.

"So...?" She questioned me. I stayed quiet for a little while longer, trying to remember everything I had planned to say. I had had a whole speech planned out, but now I was having a hard time grasping at the words.

"I'm leaving tomorrow for France. They have a course there that would do me well. Aunt Chaelin even offered to pay my transport and tuition fee." Aunt Chaelin was the rich aunt everyone dreamed of having. The aunt that was rich, yet child-less, so she spent every cent of her money doting on her nieces and nephews.

What sleep had been in her eyes just moments before completely vanished. She blinked once. Then blinked again. Her eyes widened and her lips parted. I could see she was having a hard time thinking on how to respond. I turned my gaze towards my hands in my lap and waited.

"Why did you only tell me this now? Today? How long have you known?" I could sense the hurt in her voice. The anger at me not having told her, and the sadness at the knowledge that her best friend was leaving her.