Buy me flowers| PJM

F. 22

"Yuna, come here, please."

I sigh as I step towards my teacher's desk, already knowing what's waiting for me. Today was the last day I could hand in the essay so last night I forced myself to write. I ended up writing two pages of crappy things and I was very aware of that. I knew the teacher was going to be very disappointed in me for that, I just hoped he'd read my essay after this class so I can be long gone when he sees that he has to fail me this time.

I like literature. I honestly do. Therefore, my literature teacher knows me as one of his best students. I truly enjoy his classes and I always give my best to complete all the assignments I have for this subject. But something has shut down in me a while ago and ever since then, I'm not confident in what I write anymore.

Because I just feel like no matter what I'd write, it's crappy.

It's too much.

Or it's too little.

It's never perfect.

And it annoys me so much that lately I can't be good at literature either. I can't be good at the only thing I used to be over average. It makes me feel like I've been lying to myself all the while, like literature has never been for me. Like right now, I truly am not good at anything. And that scares me. Because that was my last string, the last thing that I was still hanging onto, still making me believe I can actually do something. Now, that string is cut. And I'm falling in the dark unknown from underneath.

"Yes, sir?" I ask.

"I think you already know what I have to say," He says, looking at me.

I silently nod and he sighs, taking off his glasses.

"I was really looking forward to your work for this essay, Yuna. And I'm not gonna hesitate in saying that as far as I've read, it's much less than what I'd been expecting from you."

I nod without saying anything. He was right after all. I'm a disappointment.

"These essays are very important for the final scores, Yuna, and I don't want to fail you." He speaks calmly. "Therefore I'll give you and another few students a second chance."

I lift my head to look at him surprised. He never does that, he never offers second chances.

But it's said, everything has a beginning.

"Kamsahamnida!" I say. "What do I have to do?"

The teacher nods as if he appreciates the fact that I'm willed to try again.

"You will have to write another essay with the theme Love Yourself. It can be about anything, it can be a story, it can be a scientific study of nowadays teens and mental health. Anything. I just want to see that something that makes your writing special in it. If this one is going to be like the one you handed in today, I'm afraid I'll have to fail you."

"I understand." I say carefully. "When is the deadline for this essay?"

"Next Friday." He answers. "You have plenty of time, please use it wisely."

I nod and bow, thanking him for this chance.

"To be clear, I'm expecting even more from you now." He says in a serious tone. "So you better give your best."

I nod again and leave the classroom, wishing him a good day. Little does he know that I gave my best for this essay too.

It's just that my best is below the standards lately.

As I make my way through the hall, I hear somebody calling my name and I turn around.

God, no.

"What do you want?" I ask as Jaehyun approaches me.

"I want to talk to you." He says.

"If it's about those stupid apologies, you better-..."

"No, I'm serious, I have to talk to you. So please, listen to me." He says in a serious tone.

I look at him wondering if this is a sick trick. But I see no sign of humor or superiority on his face. Just seriousness.

Eventually, I agree on following him to a less-crowded area of the building.

"Speak." I say sharply.

I'm aware of the fact that being with Jaehyun right now isn't the safest thing to do, especially because right now, JungKook won't be around to save me if he tries anything. I'm aware of the fact that I'm basically alone with the jerk that caused my last blood lost. And I'm also aware of the fact that I promised myself I would kill him next time, but I'm not in the mood to be a criminal.

Say thanks, you moron.

"I saw you and Danbi yesterday at lunch." He says straightforward. "You need to stop hanging around with her."

As much as I feel anger rising in me, I laugh. I laugh so hard that I have tears in my eyes. It's a sick laugh. Because everything about this whole situation is sick as hell.

Jaehyun looks at me confused.

"Sure." I say. "I will stop hanging around with her just because you say so."

"Good." Jaehyun says, letting out a heavy breath.

"Are you crazy?" I suddenly ask him. I'm not laughing anymore. "Danbi has been nothing but nice to me ever since I've met her and I will certainly not stop spending time with her just because of you."

"That's the thing, she acts nice." He says. "Look, I know we're not on the best terms but you have to believe me this time! Danbi is no good..."

"Danbi is nice, unlike you. And I won't believe the guy who hurt her the most, that's for sure."

I see Jaehyun tensioning at my words. He's angry. I almost step backwards, the memory of him holding my arm so painfully rushing back in my mind. But I can face him, I can do this. I can't step behind. I'm not weak.

You're the weakest person on the earth...

"You know nothing about what happened between me and Danbi so stop pretending like you do." He says with a cold tone.

"I know enough, she told me..."

"If you're still on her side, then you definitely don't know enough."

"Then tell me. Prove me that Danbi is bad. That she wasn't the victim in this whole thing. And I will believe you." I say challenging.

"It's none of your business." He growls.

"Then how do you expect me to believe you?" I ask ironically.

"You know what, if you choose to believe Danbi, there's nothing I can do about it. You'll be the one who'll have to suffer eventually. I warned you. Believe whatever you want. I don't fucking care."

He is about to leave, but then turns towards me and adds:

"And thinking about it now, you and Jeon can keep the apologies for yourself. They wouldn't worth anything because you're too stupid anyway."

And with that, he turns around and leaves. I watch Jaehyun as he gets further from me, wondering what's gotten into him. Danbi would never be able to harm me in any way. In fact, he's the one who hurt me too much already. So why should I believe his stupid words?

I turn around and walk in the other side of the hall, heading to my next class.