Buy me flowers| PJM

F. 31

Despite of the fact that Jimin told Seulgi and Taehyung that he'd be back soon, he's certainly not rushing. Or maybe I just feel like he isn't.

The silence in Jimin's car feels almost unbearable as he drives me home. There was nothing that I wanted to tell him particularly and it seemed like it was the same in his case. Moreover, I couldn't really think about any casual chat between us right now. Things felt weird. And I knew he was feeling that as well, by the way his muscles were tensing every time I was clearing my throat.

However, at some point, he surprises me by speaking.

"What happened?" he says slowly.

I turn around to face him.

"What?" I ask him.

He glances at me briefly before turning to face the road again.

"You can fool Tae and Soo, but not me." He says so calm it makes me shiver. "Those circles aren't just the traces of smudged make-up."

"You weren't there." I whisper, slowly realizing that he might've heard more than I thought he did.

"I'm not deaf." He says. "The walls aren't that thick anyway."

I don't say anything, waiting for him to get to his point.

"What happened to you? Your brother will be worried-..."

"I thought you might've figured out by now that he doesn't know, you smartass." I say, watching the street lights passing by, before turning my head to look at him.

"I have." He says clenching his jaw. "I just hoped I was wrong."

I sigh.

"I'd appreciate if you didn't tell him." I say. "About none of this."

"So it's that bad." He remarks.

"I guess so." I whisper, shivering at the thought of facing my brother.

It's his turn to sigh. The heavy breath leaves his mouth so wearily, as if he's much older and he's been through more things that usual people can imagine.

"You really need to rest, Yuna. You can't just walk around as if nothing's wrong." He says.

"And you're literally the best person to say that." I say sarcastically.

"This isn't about me." He replies in a serious tone.

"This is about you, why do you think my brother and I fought last night after so many years?" I say full of rage but immediately regret it.

No, I don't want to put this weight on his shoulders. I don't want to destroy the only person that might completely understand. I don't want to get him in this disaster. I don't want to let him in.

"So it was me." He says after a few moments of silence and the bitterness in his voice makes me regret what I've said even more than I already do.

"I didn't mea-..."

"If you're gonna say you didn't mean it like that, I'm locking you in this car forever." He threatens in a calm voice.

Then I actually understand why I keep getting shivers when I hear him speaking like that. His voice is not just calm. It's cold. Freezing cold. And I see the side of Jimin I imagined in a completely other way. I see the mad side of him. Which, truly terrifyingly, is weirdly calm.

"I knew Hoseok hyung wasn't that happy yesterday." He says silently. "I knew he..."

Jimin sighs.