Buy me flowers| PJM

F. 25

For a second, I can't breathe. I'm terrified and I don't know why.

Then, I realize Jimin hasn't noticed me entering the hall. I almost turn around to leave the room, when I observe my brother's backpack in the other corner of the room. So he's here?

With a heavy sigh, I decide to stay. It can't be harmful anyway. Wondering where my brother actually is, I try to sit in a corner in order to wait for Jimin to finish his choreography so I can ask him where Hobi is. The thing I didn't think about was that maybe Jimin wanted to be alone, without having anybody watch him. But that was about to be a problem for later.

As I decide to watch Jimin dancing, I realize I can't look anywhere else but at him. The way his body was moving to the music felt like the chords were made for his moves, not the other way around. His whole body is fluid to the song, dancing as if that's what he has been doing his whole life. There's agony in his dance, as if he wants to scream but he has no voice. There's despair in his dance, as if he's hurting but he doesn't want to show his wounds to anybody. There's madness in his dance, as if he's ready to shut everybody away.

But there's also hope in his moves. Hope that he can be saved, hope that he can save himself. With every breath that he lets out, every second that he stops as if he'd changed his mind, with each of them, I see him. And I can't help but admire how raw he is in his dance. I can't help but admire him.

His silver hair makes him look ethereal in the pale lights shining in the hall. His perfect skin, sparkling with droplets of sweat, looks like it's glowing in the light. His dark clothes make his delicate features stand out even more. His eyes are slightly closed, as if he's enchanted to his own world, as if he's not even here, like if I called him now, he wouldn't hear me. His body looks like it's singing, dancing to its own melody.

Saying that he looks like a prince would be an understatement.

He doesn't look like a prince.

He looks like the king of stars.

He looks like he's able to control the whole universe with his emotions.

There's nothing else in the hall than him. His world fulfills the whole room, flooding it with a passion rarely seen. It's almost like there's no melody echoing in the practice room, like in a mute movie, like the only thing that matters is what it's seen. Like the only thing that matters is him dancing as if his life depends on that.

That's why, when the music truly stops, I don't notice it. I'm staring at him breathing irregularly as if I was the one who danced, not him. He simply stands in the middle of the hall, with his head leaned back, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. He breathes heavily and I can see the sweat on his face, glowing like glitter on his skin in the pale light of the bulbs.

I don't dare to breathe anymore. The only thing that I can hear is his heavy breath.

And my heart beating like crazy.

Why is my heart beating so fast?

The anticipation grows louder in me as minutes pass and Jimin doesn't move from his place. Nor does his breath come back to normal. And as a spark of fear rises in me, my eyes witness something I knew I was afraid of.

Jimin faints.

The loud impact with the floor makes the spark of fear from my heart turn to an actual flame and I run to Jimin without thinking twice. His eyes are closed and lips parted. His skin is pale and sweaty and looking at him now, I realize it's not because of the effort. It's because he has fever.

"Yah, Jimin!" I try to call, but without really expecting him to answer me.

I touch his forehead and feel it burning. I shake his shoulder slightly in order to wake him up, but he looks lifeless. I run to the corner of the hall where my brother's bag was laying and look for a bottle of water. But there's none.

Oh, God dammit.

I take a towel instead and return to Jimin, wiping away the sweat from his face.

"Jimin!" I call again but he doesn't answer this time either.

I feel panic rising in me as I realize how useless I am. I can't leave him here alone, but I can't help him in any way either.

I suddenly remember my brother told me to call him if there's anything wrong. Therefore, he must have his phone with him. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my jeans and my fingers are trembling as I tap Hobi's name in quick dial.

"Yunie, what's wrong? Are you alright? Is-..."

"Hobi, please come to the practice room as fast as you can." I say and I can barely hold back my tears.

"Practice room? What are you doing there? Have you-..."

"Please, Hobi, Jimin fainted and I don't know what to do." I say and my voice cracks.

"W-what?" he says and I hear him running.

"Please rush. I need you." I say.

"I'll be there in two minutes, don't worry, Yuna." He says and ends the call.

I sob as I put my phone away and look at Jimin again. I lift his head on my lap and unconsciously wipe his face with the towel I was holding.

"Jimin-ah..." I whisper.

His head slightly moves towards me and his eyes open a bit.

"Right here..." He says with a hoarse voice and my eyes open wide.

I feel a wave of hot tears in my eyes as I look at the boy who seemed to have everything a few minutes ago.

But fainted like everything was too overwhelming for his slender body.

For an instant, I hesitate. Is this right? But then, I remember how terrified I was and I tell myself "I don't care". I jump to his chest, hugging him tightly. His hands move up to my waist wearily and I can't hold back anymore. I let my tears out and sob harder than I've ever sobbed in my life.

"Shhh..." I hear Jimin whispering.

I was terrified. I couldn't even come back to my senses. I was so scared. Stupidly scared.

"You scared me, idiot." I say through sobs and Jimin chuckles tiredly.

"This shouldn't scare you." He whispers, confusing me.

But right when I'm about to ask him what that is supposed to mean, the door of the hall opens noisily and Hobi storms in. I let go of Jimin half scared, half confused and I stand up, making way for Hobi to kneel down next to him. Jimin lets a heavy sigh escape his plump lips and closes his eyes as if he's never been more exhausted in his whole life.

However, none of this is what concerns me the most. It's the look my brother shots me for a split second, before seeing my swollen face from tears and avoiding his gaze. It's the look that I deserved to be given, it's the look with no bit of pity. It's the look that makes me understand that right now, he gets what's going on. And that he's disappointed in me. It's the look that makes me understand I should step away from Jimin. Not now, not in this exact situation. But always. Forever from now on. However, most of all, it's the look that makes me understand a fact: that if I won't stay away from Park Jimin by my own will from now on, my brother will make sure I do so.

No matter what it takes.