Fix Me (A Jack Gilinsky FanFic)

Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

My eyes are shut, black. Like someone unplugged the electricity. The canvas was painted pitch black and I couldn't feel my body. I was numb all over and it feels as though I'm being spun in circles faster and faster by the second. For years and years I spin. My brain seems to scream stop but i just keep spinning and spinning. Until I feel the pain of my weak body being thrown against a wall, that's when my eyes start to flutter open and a small whine of pain escapes my lips.

Jack Johnson's hands are curling with my hair, slightly tugging at each strand and running his fingers around my head. At first I can’t feel and then I do and it’s soft, it feels nice. Gilinsky is softly stroking my temple with a moderately cold wet rag. I open my eyes and see the two in the middle of their process.

"Catherine," sighs Gilinsky with relief, "are you okay?"

I sit up and bat my eyes, "yeah I just didn't get much sleep last night. Lots on my mind. I guess my body just got exhausted." I lie as the inside of me is overpowered in pain and watch Gilinsky's eyes subtly as they are beaming at me and examining my every move.

"So why- um.. Why'd you come over?" I try to stand. My balance is crooked but I need water and don't want to seem unreliable right now.

"We need to talk... About last night."

Jack Johnson answers a, what seems to be fake, phone call and steps outside the house for a minute. What if Jack makes a move? What do I say if he wants to be a couple? Or worse, what do I say if he doesn’t want to?

Should I play it off like I don't remember? By now I'm sure he's seen the hickeys and knows I'm well aware of them also.

I’m now sitting right next to him on the couch. I find myself inches away from a struggling-for-words Jack Gilinsky. We face each other on the couch and his eyes won't linger towards mine like usual.

"I feel like an idiot. I don't usually drink that much if at all and I've lost a lot of respect for myself." His hand lifts from fidgeting with his leg to gently tracing over the hickeys. His eyes and mouth show so much pain behind them. Almost as if he hurt someone he's loved his whole life badly, which hurt me seeing him like this.

"Jack. It's fine. I- I um. I wanted... I wanted to kiss you, I wanted…" I stop, and he looks at me as if he's known that. 

His hands reach for my shirt, "but look," he lifts up the very end of my shirt to reveal bruises that were the size of his fingertips.

"Jack, you didn't hurt me. I'm not hurt, I..." I sigh again. I don't know how to handle this situation. I've only known this boy for about three weeks. As much as I wanted him to be mine and wanted to tell him that it is crazy for us to be apart, this is moving too fast. I'd be called a whore or slut and what would happen if fans found out?

"Just don't think of me as a pig," he claims taking his hands back to fidgeting with each other.

"You're not Jack..." I was about to say something else when I saw him stranding another phrase.

"One more thing?" I nod at him and our eyes meet for the first time in minutes and his nose was close to mine. I could feel his hot breath linger upon my lips, he stares at my lips which areonly an inch or so from his, "Let me kiss you when I'm sober sometime?"

I can't help but smile but don't say anything. I nod and I find my hand rubbing up and down his forearm. His hand moves towards my inner thigh.

He casually leans in and kisses me on the temple, then traces that area with his fingers, "You might wanna put a Band-Aid on that."

I casually get up and pace over to a mirror worried of my appearance. A cut, the size of a thumb print, stains my temple with red ink.

"Shit." I say. Jack Johnson walks in.

"How is everything?" He must not know I'm in the other room because he continues with, "Did you tell her y-?" And then I hear a lot of shushing and a thump.