Fix Me (A Jack Gilinsky FanFic)

Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

I engulf Xander in a hug. I’ve missed him.

“I did not know you could play like that. What the fuck?!? You’re so talented!” He clung on to me and I’m not sure who is hugging tighter, “I’ve missed you. Are you okay? I miss you.”

That was a lot for one greeting, “I’ve missed you so much, you don’t even know. But I’m fine.” I shoot him a smile as I break apart from the hug, “How have you been?” I ask trying to change the topic.

“I’ve been hardcore missing you. None of our friends have been acting the same way. We’re all worried sick about you,” he rests his hand on my lower back as he leads me to the living room.

“Well you can go back tomorrow and tell them that every thing is A-okay,” I say. I sit on the couch and he sits on the living room table across from me. His hand sits on my thigh.

“Cat, I want you to talk to me. I can tell you’re not okay. I can tell you’re hurting and I want to be there for you, but I’m sick of trying to be there for you and being shot down. I love you and I’m here for you okay?"

I lean forward and rest both of my hands on his knees, “I love you so much okay?”

He embraces me and I squeeze him tightly, “So when are you coming back to school?” He asks casually.

What harm would telling the truth do? He’s my friend and deserves the truth anyways right? If he’s a true friend he’ll understand. I have to tell him.

“Well…” I take a large sigh and he shifts positions as if he knows this is coming, “I don’t think I’m strong enough to face the kids at school. I’m sorry,” I look down at my feet, “And I know it seems like I run away a lot, but my grandparents aren’t doing too well and I thought maybe it would be easier if I could…go help them out there and continue my education at a school closer to them.”

“How far away are your grandparents exactly?” trying to focus on the less upsetting topic.

“Well they live in…South Carolina.”

“That’s pretty far…I’ll miss you a ton,” I am so relieved he isn’t trying to make me feel like shit about this. I kind of already feel like shit. I just don’t want to have to tell people. I hate disappointing others but I do it too damn often.

“You’ll come back and visit right?” I immediately hug him.

“Of course…I’m just finishing school there. I’ll be back all the time and we have all summer,” his lips smile at me but his eyes say otherwise.

“Have you told Jack y-?” he asks and stops when I shake my head, “How are you going to tell him?”

“I have no idea. I don’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt you. I love him…” I stop. I just stop. I love Jack. I honestly love him. Ten days ago he was this handsome sexually attractive six foot boy from an app on the internet. Now what is he? He’s my life. Ten days. It takes you 90 days to get to know someone but I feel like I know everything about him.

I rushed into this. I don’t know his favorite color or his favorite drink. I don’t know what he thinks about relationships. I don’t know how many girls he’s dated and how serious things have been.

I know what side of the bed he sleeps on, what his voice sounds like in the morning, I know what it’s like to be wrapped up in his arms. I know his favorite emoticon he uses while he texts and what music he listens to.

I don’t know Jack Gilinsky. I’m just in love with him.

Xander looks down at the floor as if he can read my mind. He knows this hurts; me leaving and me telling Jack. I think this hurts me more than it hurts Jack and Xander combined.

“He’s going to be here soon and I have no idea how to tell him. Xander?” I start to panic, “Help,” my breathing gets faster.

“Catherine, it’s going to be okay. Just calm down and tell him. If he really loves you he’ll understand why you’ve gotta go.”

Someone’s fist pounds on my front door causing Xander and I both jump out of our skin, “That’s probably Jack and Jack now…” I say lingering on to the thought of those words.

“Do you need me to stay?” Xander says pulling me in for one last comforting hug.

“No, I should get this over with…by myself.” I squeeze him and watch him quickly slip out the back door. He gives me a cute little wink looking back at me from outside the glass.

I trudge to the front door where Jack is waiting happily with the biggest smile on his face and…flowers in his hand. Nothing too special but enough to make my heart melt into pieces. How can I ever give him such bad news when he brings me such beautiful gifts? It would be wrong if I didn’t tell him. He deserved to know.

“Jack!” I yell of happiness as I open the door and he wraps his arms around me and squeezes me, “What are these for?” I ask looking lovingly into his big beautiful brown eyes.

“Well I was hoping that I could ask you if you would…” he looks away from my eyes and to the floor. When he looks back up at my his smile is draped from ear to ear and his teeth are shining as bright as the sun, “If you’d be my girlfriend.”

I giggle, “Jack that’s so cheesy!” I say clinging onto his neck again. I break the happiness of the situation, “But Jack we need to talk.”