Fix Me (A Jack Gilinsky FanFic)

Chapter 45

CHAPTER 45

Gilinsky.

I immediately cover my mouth from shock. I don’t want to cry anymore.

“Jack?!” I watch his chest rise and fall over and over and his tongue move around his lips. My eyes trace his face. His eyes are locked on my lips.

His stance is angry as though he’s in a heated hallway fight, “What are you doing here?” I ask, but with no response.

He slowly walks over to me. His hand slides from my neck to my cheek. I feel his hot breath beaming on the top of my head. His other hand lies upon my other cheek.

I believe he starts to come in for a kiss when I cling to him so that we’re hugging instead of kissing. I can’t get myself into anything right now. I can’t let myself fall for him. Not here, not now.

“Ja-“

“No Catherine, listen…I need you. I lost my best friend and I don’t want to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me along with him. Yes maybe I’ve known you for a short period of time but I love you. I love you. I can’t stand being away from you. I need you. I know you don’t want anything to do with it here and you want to forget. I tried to forget Cat, but I cant. You’re on my mind every second of every day. Don’t leave. Don’t run away. Or at least let me run away with you. I love you, I need you, and frankly I want you so bad that it hurts.” He isn’t crying, his voice is trembling but it could easily be the fact that he just ran through the airport.

“Jack, trust me, I want you more than anything…” I don’t want to say but, “but you’re better off…”

“Don’t say without me, I’m nothing without you anymore. Without Jack I’m lost, but without you I’m broken…” nothing is said. I just look into his eyes. He’s serious, “I need you…”

I wrap my arms around him as tightly as possible and hold him, “Jack,” I’m hurt just saying this, but I have to, “You have to let me go Jack.”

I could not be more in love with anyone, I have not been more in love with anyone, and I probably will never be more in love with anyone than I am with Jack.

“I’m sorry Jack, but I can’t miss my flight,” Jack’s face just shows heartbreak like a boy who’s puppy just died.

“No, you can’t… Cat,” He couldn’t spit out any words. He is numb and at a loss for any movement. He is paralyzed emotionally, “Cat I love you and you love me.”

The worst lie spills from my lips, “Jack! I’m sorry but I don’t love you.”

His eyes water as I hear my heart ripping in half, “You’re lying. I know you love me. Catherine don’t…”

“No Jack, you don’t! I used to love you. It’s just…There’s someone else…he’s probably waiting for me at home right now actually.”

“I can’t believe this. You’ve got to be lying. Please tell me you’re lying,” I look at my watch. This lie is cruel and it isn’t speeding things up. He makes short and small paces back and forth running his hands through his hair furiously. Every step he takes makes me cave more and more.

“Jack, I have a plane to get on and things to do on the other side of the ride. I have to go now! I’m sorry….For everything.”

His eyes are watering badly. I couldn’t bare to watch him cry. Not again. I’ve never heard of Jack Gilinsky crying, not before me. I broke him. Jack says without me he’d be broken but he’s more broken with me than ever before.

Then a thought came across my mind. What if Jack killed himself over me? I took Jack away from him, he spent a majority of the time with me instead of Johnson. Sammy spent a lot of his time with me too. What if he felt alone? What if it was all my fault. My eyes began to water up. I ruined Jack, I killed Johnson, and all I’m doing is running away.

I have run away two times. I can’t let there be a third. At some point I need to stand my ground. But not this time. Everyone knows that I’ve run away.

I kiss him on the cheek as if that would satisfy him enough for the time that I am gone and rip myself away from him running back to my gate. I go back to my seat where my bags are. They’re still there and I go over to them when Jack’s hand whips me around. I swear he is about to slap me across the face because he looks angry and so betrayed.

His lips race towards mine, and his hot quick breath enters my throat. That is not at all what I expected. Next thing I know his tongue is too. His lips move against mine and his tongue presses against my teeth. I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands creep towards my lower back.

I break the kiss.

“I can’t live with myself knowing that there is someone right now who makes you happier than you are when you’re with me. I can’t live if you love some guy more than you love me…I can’t do this.”

I crack like an egg, “There’s no other guy, there’s no other anyone. It’s you. Only you, but…”

Jack almost smiles then makes a grunting noise, “I can’t go another minute without you. If you won’t stay than I will fly to South Carolina to be with you. I would walk there just to be with you. I would crawl on my hands and feet…just to be with you. I just can’t live without you. I’d rather die right n-”

“You… don’t joke like that…you could never kill yourself do you hear me? Jack, that isn’t funny. I love you too goddamn much okay? I care about you…I knew this would be better for me, leaving and all, but I thought it’d be better for y-“

“Fuck,” he curses, “Don’t you get it?! My life is shit, utter shit if you don’t stay with me and-“

“But what if I stay and we break up in a couple of-“

“Catherine,” he signs, “stay with me. Forever. Be mine. I don’t care, I’ll marry you. You’ll be the women who mothers my children and the one I get to spoil.”

I laugh at him. He smiles too. He’s joking. Although if I were to stay, I could see this in the near future.

“But college is coming soon and-” I start up another claim.

His voice is calm and his breathing is slower, “I will follow you, wherever you go,” I don’t argue with him.

Our eyes meet, locked on one another as he holds my face with one hand and strokes my cheek with his thumb. I watch as his eyes stare at my lips.

Once our eyes meet again, he smiles. Not only with his lips but his eyes get ten times brighter.

I look down at my bags and look over at the women standing next to the gateway. She smiles a pitiful smile and her eyes seem to ask if I am getting on or staying off.

I turn back towards Jack and he looks at me with hurt eyes and whispers, “Fix me.”