Fix Me (A Jack Gilinsky FanFic)

Chapter 42

CHAPTER 42

I watch as Mr. and Mrs. Gilinsky get out of the car, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson already inside greeting all the attendants for their son’s funeral. Jack takes a moment to get out behind his parents. His face still emotionless and puffy but no tears stream down his face. He walks right past me, not even acknowledging me watching him.

Once the event starts a priest gets up to talk, he says a few words and prayers and sings a song. It was only ten or so minutes into the ceremony when the priest calls Jack up to give his speech.

Jack steps up to the podium and licks his lips. His eyes stare down at the sheet of paper where his speech rests. I can see him choke up even before he says anything. He runs his hands through his crooked brown hair, making it stand in a stressed out way. His tan complexion hides his red eyes and tired skin a little bit better but he’s still a mess.

Jack begins to speak into the microphone to make his parting words to his best friend, “When Jack and I met, way back in kindergarten, I thought ‘it doesn’t get more real than two kids with the same name wearing the same shirt on the same day’ I just want to say I was wrong.” He clears his throat and pushes aside the paper. He looks up not even looking down at his letter and you can tell he’s no longer speaking what he had planned, “Jack has become so much more than a boy with the same name and same shirt as me. We have the same life together. We go to the same places, whether it’s a breakfast place at noon after him sleeping over at my house, or a party at three am, we’re constantly together doing whatever keeps us occupied. We listen to the same music and do the same sports.  I’ve grown inseparable to this kid who started as ‘that boy with the same name.’ But he’s so much more than that. I stand up here today to apologize to everyone for their loss, I’d also like to apologize to Jack for everything I’ve done to upset him, every time we fought or every stupid thing I’ve said or done to him. But best friends fight, and so do brothers. Jack was more like a brother to me than I could ever wish for. No matter how hard God tried, he could not have made me a better brother. Jack touched so many people’s hearts, I know he did mine. He made me so happy and the memories we’ve made are unforgettable. I will never forget the late nights we spent playing hide and seek in the basement that turned to basketball games which eventually turned into beer pong and stupid teenage boy stuff…I just want to say that no matter what you think, Jack’s death can’t be blamed upon anybody,” his eyes for the first time all week meet mine, “Sometimes pain can be hidden so well that no one ever knows that you’re hurting. Although taking your life may never be the answer, I hope he can find some happiness now that he’s passed on. And although he has passed on our memories never will. So everyone bow your heads and promise to me that you will never forget Jack and all the times he’s made you smile, promise me we will carry on this boys spirit for as long as we live and never let each other forget. Rest in peace to the boy who has impacted my life the most and treated me like a brother. Rest in peace to my other half and that short blonde haired kid with the funny humor and great attitude on life. Rest in peace to the boy with the same name.”

As he finished his final words Johnson’s mother begins to walk up to the podium and engulfs Jack into a hug and kisses him on the cheek.

I can hear my heart finally rip into two pieces inside my chest but as weak as I am now, I cannot give in. I have to stay strong, for Jack.

After the next few speakers and the funeral ends Gilinsky follows to my car. As I’m about to get in and drive away, I notice the boy in the tux standing about ten feet away from me.

Our eyes lock, and it seems like minutes pass without anything said. Finally I break the stare and run at him, attaching my arms around his neck and one of his arms wraps around my waist as the other remains in his pocket.

“I’m so sorry Jack, this is awful… I’m here always. Please, never forget how much I love you, and how much I’m here through all of this… Your speech was beautiful and I don’t think anyone could’ve worded that better. It was truly amazing… I know Johnson’s looking down on you right now, missing you and thanking you for such a beautiful closing.” I know Jack isn’t going to respond so I untangle myself from him and head back to my car, “Stay strong Jack, if you need me, you know where to find me.”

I give him a sympathetic smile before pulling away. I can hear Jack’s speech replay over and over in my mind and on the way home I burst out crying. I can’t control myself but at least I’m crying in private.

By tonight, Jack’s body will forever be below the ground we walk on. 

***

I think it was pretty obvious all along that it would be Johnson but a lot of you thought it would be Sammy or Gilinsky...or Mike. Well here's a double update because I have been done with this book for the longest time but I keep taking forever to updload. Ive just been having a really rough time with a lot of things. 

There's a few more dramatic scenes left, but should I take out the mental breakdown from Catherine and have it end with only one more exciting scene and a chapter shorter than what it would be now or should Catherine hold an unknown secret forever?

Love you guys.