Save Me. [P.JM + J.JK]

Ch 20: Jungkook

I got up earlier than usual and took a good long shower. After that, I got dressed and ate breakfast. Jin and Namjoon came down thirty minutes later. They were dressed and ready to go. When Namjoon saw me waiting he arched a brow.

"Well, I see someone is bright an early. You ready to go Jungkook?" Namjoon asked. Jin came down after him and he was holding the large file that my doctor gave to him.

"Alright everyone lets' go. I have a hair appointment after the doctor's visit." My cousin said in a hurry.

Namjoon half smiled to himself. "But sweetheart, you look as beautiful as a goddess and your hair is fine." He said lovingly.

My cousin shot him a mini glare and grabbed the car keys. "I'm still getting my hair done. Let's go." he said, walking out the front door.

The drive to the clinic was boring as usual. I sat in my own silence and thought about Jimin. That boy always made me smile.

My phone buzzed again. I quickly pulled it out and hope it was Jimin texting me.

It was Taehyung.

Taehyung:

"Dude, I'm so psyched for tonight. I got like a lot of movies and soo much junk food. Oh, and I sorry for blowing up your phone yesterday. My date bailed on me and I was bored as hell in my room."

I read it a few times, and then deleted it. I couldn't stand him. He's so full of himself, that it makes even sicker. The only reason I was hanging out with him was so that he can stop bothering Jimin and Jisoo.

We made it to the treatment center and waltzed on in were we greeted by a nurse.

I searched around and saw a few familiar patients waiting in the lobby. I then looked over to the receptionist desk and my heart light up. I saw Jimin sitting at the desk, looking down to the computer screen. The guy next to him was staring at me and he licked his lips in a sexual manner. Ever since I started coming here, he would always stare at me.

"Jungkook, it's nice to see you again." The doctor spoke proudly.

Yeah right bitch, it's nice to see money walk through the door.

"It's nice to see you too." I replied casually.

Namjoon and Jin spoke in whispers to the doctor and handed the file to her. She grabbed the file and motioned me to follow her. I did as I already knew what was going to happen.

She was going to assign me the chemo.

"So Jungkook, I talked to your guardians and they approved of the process. Now I'm going to explain what we are going to do-"

"I know what you're going to do." I spat. "You're going to inject the chemo in me." I said, my tone was abit harsh.

The doctor looked taken aback, her eyes slightly narrowed. "Well, let me finish. Your chemo starts next month. But before we can give it to you, your body needs to be prepared for the chemo. I'm prescribing you three medicines that you must start taking as soon as possible." She informed.

More medicine...more drugs...less time to live.

The doctor reached under her desk and opened a drawer. She then took out three orange bottles filled with prescription drugs. One was Oxycontin, a pain killer, another was an anti-depressant and the last one was a mystery.

"I take it, you know what these two are. The Oxycontin is meant to relieve the pain from the chemo. When you start the actual treatment, which is the liquid injection, your body will reject it at first. This medicine is meant to relieve pain. Your cousin said he was going to monitor you while you take your medicine." She informed.

In other words...he's going to watch me die.

"Alright." I simply replied. I really couldn't say much. My voice was practically gone.

"Next is the anti-depressant. I didn't want to have to say this, but you look like you can handle the truth easily. Your hair will start to fall off due to the radiation from the chemo and when I mean hair I mean every particle of hair on your body will fall off."

"So I'm basically going to be bald?" I flat out asked.

"Yeah, if you put it in those terms." She replied stiffly. "And finally these pills here are the chemo. If you take it in a pill form, the effects are less sever then taking it by injection." She informed.

"So why can't I just take the pills? I mean if it makes me live just a bit longer, I wouldn't mind taking it." I said, a small spark of hope flickered inside me.

The doctor let out a small sigh and looked down to her file as her lips pursed into a small frown. "Jungkook, taking it by pills is a bit dangerous. If you take too much without being monitored, you can overdose." She warned. "Are you sure you want to take the pills alone? You will still have the option of taking the injections. It's your choice." She said.

Yes it's my choice on how I want to die.

If I take these pills, it may be a slow death, but at least I can have more time on this earth.

More time with my family.

More time with my friends.

And more time with Jimin.

"I'll take the chemo in pill form. I know the effects are more demanding that the injection, but..." I looked down to the ground as I felt ashamed. I was practically begging to the doctor about living longer. That feeling of self-pity rose within me as my throat became tight and my hand began to shake.

I wanted to cry.

Don't you dare cry Jungkook...don't let them see you lose...

"Here, take the first pill today. You have to take the Chemo pills once a week. If you were to come in for the injections it would have been twice a week. Sometimes three times. You chose wisely Jungkook. I admire that. You're a strong young man." She said.

Am I really that strong? Or am I selfish?

I reached my hand out and took the pill. It was small, and it had red x's labeled on it. This must have been the chemo. I was supposed to start this next month, but I decided to take it now. I didn't want to wait anymore. I was tired of waiting and I wanted my body to be rid of this illness. Fuck what the doctors say. They are not god. They cannot tell me that I'm going to die in two years. Who knows? Maybe I'll live and go to college and make something out of myself.

"Jungkook, are you alright?" the doctor asked with concern in her tone. 

No you stupid Bitch! I'm not alright.

"I'll go take this in the bathroom. Just tell me the side effects." I whispered.

I heard a sigh and a few shuffles of her papers. "Headaches, vomiting, and in rare occasions, insomnia. If you start experiencing all three symptoms, call the treatment center as soon as possible." She said, her voice was cold. "Anything else?" she spat. I didn't know what the fuck was her problem.

Yeah, drop the attitude and act like a fucking doctor, not like a bitch.

"No, have a nice life." I retorted. Her eyes widened and as she was about to say something, I ran out her office, down the hallway filled with those stupid nurses, past the receptionist desk and into the men's room.

I looked at myself in the glass as a reflection of a handsome young man stared back. I opened my mouth, and popped the poison that would begin to wither my body. Tears, hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I knew I have to get used to these tears, because I know I'll be seeing them more often.

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A/N: *casually slides over a box of tissues* Trust me, you're going to be needing them after this chapter.