Biology

Enough

"You remember I came off the pill right" she spoke as they moved out of the hospital heading home it was the early hours of the morning and she was exhausted. But the thoughts in her mind chattered so loudly, she knew she would never sleep if she didn't voice them out loud.
"Yes but you've only just come of it like two days ago" he smiled.
"And... you miss one and the chances go up and well we didn't use anything back then" she spoke the anxiety rose inside her.
"Connie is a baby what you really want?" He spoke seriously pausing pulling her to face him, his expression soft and loving.
She nodded she couldn't form the words to express how much she suddenly realized how much she wanted it, and how much it terrified her.
"Then if it's now or in a years time it will happen I'm sure of it" he smiled.
"But I'm older what if something happens, what if I can't, what If I can and something is wrong with them, what if the same thing happens again" she burst out suddenly feeling the anxiety peak as she felt the breathe constrict in her lungs.

"Connie listen to me, this isn't the same as before, I'm here we're in this together" he held her softly forcing her to focus on him as he spoke.
"I'm not sam, our genetics are not the same which makes this completely different, I'm going to support you not make you miserable and stressed. And you've done this before we can make sure we keep a close eye on everything and as for your age your  42 not 100. Let's give it a few months let things naturally happen and if they don't we can look into things Okay. But getting yourself stressed out isn't going to help you or any potential little peanuts" he soothed her claiming her hand and squeezing it tight as she nodded. "Whatever happens Con we're in this together the good the bad and what ever else".

"So if I take you home and jump you, you going to think I'm obsessed with babies or sex" she smirked.
"It's fine to want both" he grinned seeing her relax.
"But sleep first you look exhausted" he smiled as she climbed from the car.
"I'm not tired" she grumbled as he moved her upstairs.
"And I'm Father Christmas, come on it's been a long night. We will have to go get Mum at lunchtime so let's get some sleep first"he encouraged her.
"We could enjoy the free house" she smirked.
"If you weren't already half asleep I might take you up on it, but.." he looked down and noticed her eyes already closed as she dozed at the pillow.

It was in moments like these he realized how special she was, how fragile she was as-well and how much he knew they could last together. She had opened up more in the last few days and he found it hard to comprehend how such an enormous part of her life was still so distant to him.
He knew it was painful and he knew it was her way of coping with it, he was also aware wether she was pregnant again or not now these feelings had resurfaced they wouldn't go away. He had to be ready to support her no matter what, as he watched her the thought of seeing her tummy grow, having a baby with her watching her be an amazing mother, them becoming a proper family unit. It cemented to him this would be all he would ever need, but he also knew if it didn't happen he would never love her any less. She had been his from the very beginning before she had even known he existed and just to be beside her would be enough for a lifetime.