Bevore we lost Ourselfs (OLD, TRASH, VERY BAD SPELLING AND GRAMMAR!)

chapter 48 {part 2}

-as the letter was writen-
Luna's P.O.V
I wrote the goodbye letter with shaking hands. It definetly looked messy. I can't belive I wont ever see them again.... I already miss them.
It didn't feel right to do this. It felt comepleatly wrong. Yet.... At the same time, it felt like desteny.

-after last chapter-
I felt awful. Pau told Tord it did work, so he told me. I was cuting more then I'd normaly do. It didn't mater anymore. I had nobody I could talk to, since I have changed my phone and stuff. I just.... didn't want to suffer anymore...
I was a emotional mess. Well, to be exact, I didn't show any emotions. I was suffering inside, but staying a mindless soilder outside, who'll do everything theyr leader would say or wish. I didn't care whatever it was, if it was to show new comers around, or if I should go to war and die. My eyes, becomeing more lifeless and cold, only showing misery.
It was a day like the usal in england. (Fun fact, as I'm writing this I am aculy in england, since I don't live here. But its fun here :P and of corse, mah frian-chans knew that already)
It was raining all day and night.

-time skip by two weeks-
I have been becomeing more and more cold to everyone. Not even the famos Red Leader himself could get me to smile, even if he'd torture me for not verfilling his orders.
I was starting to lose my mind. All I could feel is the misery, guilt and sorrow. The secrets inside me thretning to spill.
Just like an overflowing sink. Its geting harder and harder to not cut myself, or just full out let everything out.

-another time skip of two weeks-
I'm going insane. Now I couldn't only hear the voice that always tells me to cut myself, or how much everyone hates me and I should die, but also.... I started to hear my parents, my REAL parents, voices. They sounded disapointed of me. I also started hearing the voices of my friends.... They all said how much they hate me and are disapointed in me... It breaks someones mind...

I was drinking some alcohol from the Army's bar. I wanted to drink so much I'd forged everything. But that's impossible..... „Hey, you alright? I haven't seen you like this bevore.",a familiar voice said.... Pat. „Just want to forged or die from the alcohol."„Well", he started, „You're on the right way to do so. I have seen you're drinking every night here..." I stayed quied. „Have you ever lost something important to you, and after you did nothing semed to matter anymore?"
He stayed quied for a bit. „No. But I'm guessing its your friends, isn't it?"
I sighed and noded as a yes. „Nothing semes to matter anymore... Its like every last bit of me wanting to live wanished...", I told him truthfully.
He noded and said he knows how to help me feel better. He then walked away.
-a day later-
I was training with some new comers whem two soilders came and took me like if I was a traidor or intruder. I was trying to free myself, but with no success.
„WHY ARE YOU TAKEING ME!?",bI yelled. Last time I checked I didn't do anything wrong.
After a while we arived at the Leaders ofice.
He just sat in his leather seat, like a asshole he is.
„Do you know why you're here?", a heavy norwegan accent said. The Leaders accent to be exact.
„No! What did I do to be send here in such way!?", I yelled at him, starting to stop trying to escape. „Tsk Tsk Tsk.... You yell at your leader in such a way? Bad soilder... ", he said as he reached into his desc shelf. „Pat told me about yesterday.... So, I've found the most perfect solution for you and me.", he finaly pulled out.... The memorie eraser gun!? „Y-You'r-re not gonna... Erase my memory... A-are you...?" He smirked as I stuttered. „Yes I am." I looked dumbfounded at him. „Y-you can't erase my memory! T-that's insane!"
He had a smile of a psycho. „Didn't you already see I'm insane?~"
Tears started to form in my eyes.
„Say goodbye to yourself, you'll never be the same~", he said, starting to point the gun at me.
Then it happend.
I watched helplessly as the laser made its way to me.

Nubody's P.O.V.
The two soilders let go of Luna as the laser was making its way to her, but she didn't move. She was frozen in place. All of her memories of her life were surounding her.
She fell backwards as it hit her. All her memories started fading as she fell. Nothing was left after she hit the floor. She had closed her eyes as it hit her, so as she sat up, she opened them.
They were dark blue again.
„W-who am I-I....?", Tord smirked seeing Luna like this. He ran up to her (after hiding the gun) and huged her. „No! It can't be!", Luna was confused. A grown ass man, who looked dangerus, had a hot ass accent AND amaizing looking hair just ran up to her, alsmost crying. „W-who are you... Uhm... Sir...?", she asked softly yet carefuly. „I-I'm Tord... Tord Larsson..." „W-who am I...?" „Luna Dimond...." he replied.