Marrying The Beast

Chapter 30

Last night was mind-blowing. I think to myself ignoring the redness growing on my cheeks. I'm applying light make up, prepping my face to look decent today. I have applied so much concealer onto my neck to hide the love bites that Blayze placed on my neck last night. Last night was a dream come true. I think about how absolutely amazing it was and how Blayze most likely thinks of last night as nothing more but another sexual encounter. I swallow the sick feeling within my throat. He most likely used me and it meant absolutely nothing to him and even worst we broke one of the most important rules on the contract, five through nine. Never mind, we broke rules not only one rule. I set down my mascara and stare into the mirror. I look so fresh and bright. I know for a fact it's not because of the mask I used but something else. I have never touched myself and I tried once but I chickened out. My first orgasm was caused my Blayze glorious fingers.

I know exactly what will happen if I bring it up. He'll tell me it was a mistake and to never mention it and then I'll continue to peruse the issue then he'll get mad and we'll get in a fight and not talk for who knows long. Then Chris or someone else will tell him he's being unfair and cruel to me and he'll feel guilty then apologize along with an "I'm sorry I'm being a total beast of a bastard' kiss. I'm taken out of my thoughts when I hear, "Hey, you almost ready?" Asks Blayze. I look at him through the mirror and I say, "Mhm." Blayze stands at the doorway a little longer than needed and I say absolutely nothing for I am enjoying the attention that he is giving me and the idea of him finding me good enough to have any type of intimacy with is good enough for me. I know for a fact I'm going to regret this later but for now, I'm going to enjoy it while I have it.

I stand up and fix my skirt and start to make my way to the door. "Um, excuse me," I say shyly to Blayze. I'm so embarrassed that Blayze saw me at my weakest moment and what's even more embarrassing is that he was the cause of it. He moves out my way and lets me pass by. He follows me out of the room and we start to make our way to the kitchen where everyone else is waiting. "Suzette," Blayze says and I quickly feel chills go down my spine. His voice is so husky and sexy causing my core to throb with excitement. Not now! I need to go to church like right now. Dear God helps me not pounce on this man.

"Yeah?" I slowly say fighting the urge to turn around. If I turn around we won't make it out of this house. My arm is grabbed and I've spun around and I come face to face with Blayze. More like chest and face since he's like a whole freakin foot taller me. "I think we need to talk about-"
"The contract and how we agreed on no sexual activity," I said interrupting him. He sighs and nods his head yes. "And you think it was a mistake and that we shouldn't do it ever again?" I hold my breath praying that he doesn't say what I don't want him to say. Please don't say it. Please don't agree with me. "Yes, that's exactly right." I feel like I just got punched in the gut when he said that. I pull my hand out of his hands and glare at him. "Wow, Blayze, thank you for making me feel like a total slut." He furrows his eyebrows and says, "What?! What are you talking about?" I let out a sarcastic laugh and reply back, "Hell, I'm not surprised you don't even know what I mean. You always know how to make me feel like shit and a complete idiot. You are such a prick." How can I possibly love this man that can be so rude and cruel and then kind and sexy?

I turn around and walk away before I cry or something. I hate him. I hate him with all my heart. I stop halfway down the stairs to blink away the tears trying to escape my eyes. I suck in a shaky breath of air and breath it out. I hate that I love him with all my heart even more. How can you love someone who doesn't give a shit about you or doesn't want anything to do with you? I guess I'm living proof that you can. I recompose myself and before I could continue going down the flight of stairs I feel a hand grip my arm firmly.

Warning Sexual Content: Read at your own risk

I turn to see Blayze piercing down at me. Those blue/green eyes are all I can see and within them a flame of desire. He says through gritted teeth, "You're so complicated Suzette and it gives me a headache." I don't know to feel about that let alone know what it actually means. "Seriously?" I tell him sarcastically trying to control my breathing. Him being so close is taking the air right out of my lungs. "Yes, seriously. Stop being sarcastic for just five seconds please." He pleads. "Okay, one, two, three, four, five. Five seconds are up." He rolls his eyes and breaths out roughly through his nostrils. "Suzette I'm trying to be serious here. Just listen. You get all fired up for nothing!" He yells at me. Before I could say something he quickly adds, "Nevertheless, the feeling I get whenever you dig your nails on the back of my shoulder and my upper back sends me to a place no one has ever sent me. When you look at me with those bright brown eyes I feel a fire within me ignite. You make me feel..." he stops speaking and he just looks down at me and I watch as his chest rises up and down faster than normal. How can he go from yelling and criticizing me to this? Do I want to know where it sends him? Yes, I do.