After four years on a dramatic rollercoaster of emotions, it looked like Camila and Lauren were finally done for good, especially with Camila ready to leave Fifth Harmony. However, that didn't mean that the drama ended there, or that 'Camren' did ei...
I remembered waking up that morning (or technically, afternoon) in my own bed with a fire lit under me. I was surprised that I had even slept at all. I had spent a majority of the night thinking about how to respond to Fifth Harmony's Twitter post.
Fifth Harmony's Twitter post.
It was so strange referring to them as if I wasn't a part of them; because I no longer was. I didn't exactly feel any different, but it was probably because it hadn't set in yet. All of us were used to going home for the holidays so it still sort of felt like I would be going back after the break. The only glaring reminder that I wouldn't be was sitting on their Twitter feed.
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Lauren had warned me. She had told me to wait until the morning to check, but I couldn't stand the anticipation. I had to know what the heck she was going on about, why she seemed so terrified of the management last night.
Last night...that was the only thing rushing through my head more than the Twitter post. I hadn't cried that much in front of anybody other than my mom in such a long time. In fact, I woke up absolutely drained from all of the crying. Anybody who might have seen me would have thought that it was because of the drama of the split, but I knew that it was only because of her. It always was. I laid there in bed, replaying the night's events over and over again.
She had basically told me that we were nothing more than pawns in Maverick and Epic's game, that our personal relationship meant nothing anymore. That was what she said, but what she did mattered more to me. I could clearly see the tears streaming down her face, the visible pain in her expression, the way she held onto my thumbs like she never wanted to let go. I could see her wheels turning every time I asked her a question or expected her to respond to me. She wasn't dead in there. She cared. I knew her well enough to know that something was going on and, for now, I knew that I would have to be ok with not knowing what it was; but, God, it was destroying me.
Maybe this would be good for Lauren and me. We would finally get that concrete space that we needed from each other. Breakups aren't meant to happen inside of a cage; all that leads to is a cage match. Lauren and I were trapped for so long, but maybe now we could really focus on ourselves and our passions. I truly believed that we could reconnect again someday, whether as friends or...something else. Maybe I was naive to have such a feeble hope, but her kiss was implanted in my mind, on my heart. I just had to be patient. She had tried to teach me that lesson for so long, and maybe it was finally time that I learned it.
"Kaki!" my sister, Sofi's, voice appeared in the doorway.
Sofia sprinted over to my bed and immediately tackled me without warning.
"Oh my God, Sofi!" I attempted to yell as I had the wind knocked out of me.
