After four years on a dramatic rollercoaster of emotions, it looked like Camila and Lauren were finally done for good, especially with Camila ready to leave Fifth Harmony. However, that didn't mean that the drama ended there, or that 'Camren' did ei...
*Note: All song lyrics in this chapter are from songs Camila was listening to on her Spotify on this day
January 6th, 2017
3:30 P.M.
Camila
I had spent the past week in Cancun, Mexico to watch the new year come in, and it was one of the best weeks I had had in a while. I was really enjoying my new technique of focusing on my family and the people that I loved and cared about. Every other time that I was home and heartbroken about Lauren, I would push people away, but this time was different.
This time I had a new burning desire in my heart that was overpowering the chasm the green eyed girl had left there. It was finally time to get ready to create, and what better inspiration than one of the greatest musicians in the modern world: Ed Sheeran.
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He had just dropped two songs after his year long hiatus, and I was already obsessed with them both. This man was an absolute genius. After listening to 'Shape of You' and 'Castle on the Hill' a few times, I found myself in an Ed mood, which honestly happened a lot throughout my lifetime. At first, I just decided to go to his page and shuffle songs from his last album, which immediately became a mistake.
See the flames inside my eyes
It burns so bright I wanna feel your love
~I'm a Mess (Ed Sheeran)
The first song was already making me think about Lauren. I couldn't believe that we really hadn't talked since the day after I had left the group. I shouldn't have been surprised, really, since we had spent the last three weeks that we actually were still together in person barely talking, but it still hurt.
I still missed her. I didn't think that there would ever be a time where I wouldn't miss her, even if I somehow managed to reach a place where I wasn't in love with her. I thought that those tears in her eyes and her final words to me meant that we would still carry on some form of communication, but I got nothing but silence, and nothing but staring at that stupid final text she had sent me.
L: Np
I looked down at it again as Ed's words coursed through my veins. I felt myself sinking into the depression that I always would on breaks, the same depression that I was so sure I would avoid this time around. I plopped my head down onto my pillow and let the music carry my thoughts for me.
