Thinking of Your Skin: The Truth Behind Camren - Book Two

Chapter 43: Still

February 16th, 2018

12:00 P.M.

Lauren

I'd finally gotten the courage up to call her, praying that she would actually answer me this time.

My prayers weren't answered. The phone rang five times before going to her automated voicemail message which meant I couldn't even hear her voice. Maybe she needed to know that this was important.

L: I want to talk to you about something

L: Let me know when you're free

I hated feeling like there was this weird tension between us. I thought that those days were behind us now, but apparently it was only a matter of time before shit got difficult again.

I should've known, too. I should've known how much our past would weigh upon our future. We're fucking human beings. As badly as we want to move on from a traumatizing situation, we can't control the way our bodies react to things, the way our hands shake at the sound of their name, the way our hearts end up in our throats at the sight of them. Some things are just inevitable. Some people just have effects on us that we can't fight.

Camila would always be one of those people for me. I had told her that she was so significant to me and I felt that with every single bone in my body. Each and every thing she did would always affect me, whether I wanted it to or not, whether I was in a happy, committed relationship or not. It was a bit frustrating at times, but also oddly comforting; it reminded me how powerful love could be.

And I did love her. I loved her so much that I had to make sure she was in good hands, no matter how weird it was that they weren't my own for the first time in a while. So, I waited.

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Camila

Lauren's texts didn't really come as a surprise to me. They were a little late, but still expected. I knew she had found out about me and Matthew in Mexico. It was only a matter of time before she came interrogating me about everything, just like she had done any time I had any sort of love interest that wasn't her. It was rare, but it still happened, and she was still so predictable.

The truth was, I was still hesitant to talk to her at all, not just because I didn't want to admit that Matthew was nothing but a PR creation, but also because I still couldn't get her words from that night out of my head. Anytime I saw her name pop up on my screen, all I could think of was two things: 1) Fifth Harmony was breaking up and 2) Why was it so easy for her to find love again and again while all I could manage was a fake relationship?

I was angry at her, something I hadn't felt towards her in months, and it wasn't even really her fault. I knew that it was just our history creeping back up again, like it always did and always would. She hadn't really done anything new to piss me off; she had simply reminded of what had been done in the past.

Either way, my anger was slowly morphing into resentment which I knew was about to morph into an untamable desire for...revenge. It's not like I wanted to kill her or anything. I wasn't plotting some evil scheme to get back at her, but I did want her to feel a fraction of the pain I was feeling. I knew that it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. When would it be my turn to have the upper hand on Lauren? I wanted to find out, so, I picked up my phone and called her right back.

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Lauren

Wow. Maybe a little sense of urgency was all she needed to finally call me back. I couldn't tell if that annoyed me or not, but I wasn't about to pass this up either way. I hit the little green button on my phone and pulled it up to my ear.