Thinking of Your Skin: The Truth Behind Camren - Book Two

Chapter 45: Love Yourself

April 15th, 2018

11:00 P.M.

Camila

"Great job tonight, love. Both performances." Matthew said with a wink.

I chuckled lightly at his joke as we stepped into my dressing room, finally able to let go of each other's hands.

"Thanks. You, too." I responded politely.

I had just finished up another show on my 'Never Be The Same' tour, and, once again, Matthew and I were in full on PR mode. My team had had Matthew fly in since it had been a while since we were publicly spotted together. Roger had made it extremely clear that I needed to be on my best behavior...

"As long as you're in the same place, you are a taken woman. He is your boyfriend. You are his girlfriend. Don't forget that. Not even for a second. Who knows where these crazy fans will go to catch you guys off guard."

And they did. None of us would find out until the next day, but some 'crazy fans' did actually end up getting some footage of Matthew and me backstage. The second I had finished one of my songs and started to walk backstage, I saw the British man waiting for me with a smile.

He is your boyfriend. You are a taken woman.

The words had started to float around in my head so much that part of me was actually sort of starting to believe it. Roger was good. He had conditioned me like I was some sort of lab rat.

But he still couldn't make me forget about Lauren. As I walked up to Matthew, I channeled my feelings for her into him. I pictured how it would feel to have Lauren waiting for me backstage, ready to congratulate me and wrap me up in her arms.

All actors have their methods, right?

So, we had finally made it backstage where no one could see us, and my sweaty hand was free of his rough palm.

"You know, sometimes it's a shame that we can't do this thing for real." Matthew said, bringing me out of my head and causing my heart to stop.

"What?" I asked, hoping I had heard him wrong.

"Do you know what I mean? It would be so much easier if we could actually feel that way about each other."

"I...I'm sorry, Matthew, I—"

"Oh, no, no! Relax, Camila.", he chuckled, "I'm not coming onto you. You're a bit too young for my taste, anyway."

"Oh.", I said, feeling an odd sense of rejection, "Then why'd you mention it?"

"I was just speculating. It's alright. I understand you want someone a bit more curvy than me." he laughed.

"Curvy?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"A woman, Camila. A woman."

I froze. Did he...

"Who said I wanted a woman?" I asked abruptly.

"Um...", he laughed nervously, "You? Your team? This whole situation?"

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Matthew, who told you I was into girls?"

"I...everything, Camila!", he said incredulously, "That's why we're doing this crazy thing, isn't it?"