Yin & Yang: A Yandere Love Story

Chapter 16 (Yin)

I stood in front of my door for 20 minutes, still unsure how I was going to face Yang.

I 1st wanted to apologize since I was the one who started everything during his drunken state and 2nd, I wanted him to agree that we're going to pretend this all didn't happen. That we should just go back to the way it was.

I breathe in and out deeply, reaching out to the knob to go out and visualizing myself entering the dining area and saying "Good morning" like my usual self.

Suddenly I heard Yang's voice from beyond the wooden entrance, halting my movements, "Yin? Aren't you going down for breakfast?"

I choked, wanting to speak but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I stood dumbly in front of my door like a statue.

Honestly, I knew that no matter how much I prepared, I still wasn't ready to face him yet.

I heard his sigh, "I'm sorry about last night. I drunk too much and wasn't myself. I know it might be hard but can we pretend everything didn't happen?"

I didn't speak. My thoughts chaotic.

He sighed again, "I'll go ahead 1st. Breakfast is on the table" then I heard his footsteps leaving my door, slowly going farther away.

When I heard the front door open then close, I sighed in relief.

It was good that Yang thought the same way. That we should just pretend last night didn't happen and move on.

Last night was a mistake. Yang was drunk and he wasn't himself. Too drunk to realize that the person he was with wasn't the one he loved.

A tear fell from my eye. I looked at it in confusion before another fell to the floor.

My chest ached again and I clutched the fabric over my heart tightly.

It was mistake. Those kisses weren't for me. His passionate touches weren't for me. His love wasn't for me.

If he wasn't drunk he wouldn't even hold me. If he wasn't drunk he wouldn't have committed those mistakes. Yang wanted to forget it all and I did too but could I?

For a moment I thought his kisses were for me. For a moment I thought he loved me just as much as I loved him.

Those moments felt like a dream. As if my love was finally fulfilled, that Yang felt the same. I was happy. I wanted him and he wanted me too.

But it was all just for that moment.

The little hope that I didn't know I still had shattered completely.

I cried. I cried hysterically. I was screaming and crying and throwing things and beating my hands against the walls. Hurting so much it overflowed and my small body didn't know how to alleviate it.

It was a mistake! My love is a mistake! My hope is a mistake!

Why Yang?! Why did last night have to happen? Why did I have to throw myself at him? Why did you respond? Why didn't you just push me away? Why did you have to hug me, and kiss me, and touch me when I wasn't who you thought I was? Why did I subject myself to this fruitless love? Why did you do this to me Yang?! Why? Why?! WHY?!

I didn't know how I ended up curled against a corner in my room. I didn't know how much time had passed. I was blind to the carnage I've created, from the shattered photo frames, the sheets and mattress messily spread on the floor and my personal items scattered across the room.

I continued to hurt. The pain just wouldn't go away. My beaten heart, thrummed and throbbed and twisted wretchedly.

My thoughts shifted between blaming Yang, hating him, forgiving him, blaming myself, hating myself, forgiving myself, ad infinitum.