The Other Side | Jikook

Chapter 36

Jimin POV

"Mmmmm... Jiminie? Can't we just stay in bed, baby?" Jungkook murmurs half asleep as he wraps his arms around my waist tighter. I chuckle softly, turning around in his arms so that I'm facing him as I look up at him.

"Isn't this usually the other way around? You're awake earlier than me every single day, Jungkookie." I giggle softly, leaning up and pecking his lips gently. However, as I begin to pull away, he leans back down to capture my lips with his once more. I giggle again against his lips this time as I give into the kiss once more. Letting our lips move together in sync, it's a wonderful feeling. Feeling his love and comfort.

However, it quickly begins to turn heated as he grows needy. I'm caught off guard by him being the one to get needy in the kiss, but don't initially think much of it as I naturally give in. Feeling his hands cup my cheeks as his movements against my lips become sloppy.

It's only when I feel the wetness of tears sliding down his cheeks and landing on my own, that I realize just how off and wrong this all seems. Almost immediately, I pull away from the kiss. He tries to pull me back in, not completely snapping out of it yet, but I refuse. Gently placing my hands on his cheeks, his eyes snap open as they find me in a heartbeat. His lips are swollen and parted, tears falling faster this time as he looks like the most innocent, scared and worried, deer caught in headlights. I frown worriedly at the sight, not understanding what's happened that would possibly elicit such actions and reactions from the beautiful taller boy.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I question quietly, gently continuing to wipe away his tears that don't seem to stop falling.

"Wh-why'd you stop? I-I thought you l-liked this." Jungkook stutters, lips trembling even more than they had before. Sighing softly, I lean in and peck his lips gently, but don't give into what he's wanting right now, wanting to know why he's like this to begin with.

"I do, baby. I do enjoy pleasuring you in any way I can, not just sexually. And I do enjoy seeing you happy, and I was heading in the direction of sex last time we were here. But, this isn't right. Not when you're in this kind of state. I don't want our first time together being while you're so worked up and upset like this, I don't want it to be something that you used as a distraction. I know you'll regret it later on if you just use it as a distraction... especially when you're doing it with someone you actually care about..." I tell him, my voice trailing off to nothing more than a mere murmur, my mind floating elsewhere.

As I speak, I unintentionally remind myself of the last time I had sex. Of that last time, when I'd had sex with Yoongi. When I'd tried to use having sex and finishing what I'd started as an excuse and a distraction from how frustrated I'd gotten. Of how worked up and frustrated I'd been over so many thing. Of being frustrated over not being smart enough to participate in the lesson with Jungkook and wasn't able to understand any of it, of being frustrated over giving in and telling Jungkook about parts of my past. Using sex with Yoongi as a way to try and forget how pathetic and worthless I really am and how fucked up I truly am...

"What happened, baby? Why're you so upset, darling?" I question, mentally shaking my head at myself.

Now's not the time. I need to be focusing on Kookie and why he was trying to make such a mistake. Why he was looking for such a strong distraction. Not on myself and how disappointing I am. On how much of a worthless waste of space I am.

Jungkook whines loudly, wrapping his arms around my waist as he pulls me even closer if possible. Burying his face into the crook of my neck, he begins sobbing loudly. It breaks my heart, seeing him in such a state, as I wrap my arms gently around him as well. Staying quiet, I gently begin rubbing his back with one hand and using the other to play with his hair, knowing it tends to be a calming factor to many people.

Slowly, I begin to hush him and murmur sweet nothings into his ear, trying to calm the heartbroken boy in my arms. A tiny smile tugs at my lips as I feel him tangle our legs together, slowly beginning to calm down but not showing any signs of letting go or moving away in the slightest yet. Though, it falls in an instant at his words as he finally tells me the reason behind his tears and failed attempt at using sex as a distraction.

"She's gone, Jiminie. She's dead. They killed her. They killed my mother."