*** COMPLETED *** Think About You [A G-Eazy Story, Sequel to If I'm Lucky]

Chapter 22: "He's not going to be in control of me anymore."

Kaitlyn and I were laying in my bed watching a movie when Grady had accidentally called her. We heard the whole fight between him and Gerald, and we even heard some rustling around, but couldn't quite make out what it was.

We wanted to try and get Grady's attention to let him know that he called her, but when Gerald started talking, I told her to hold off.

He said some pretty hurtful things, and basically said that I depend on him, which is not true at all. As much as I hate to admit it, Grady was right. Before all of this drug stuff happened, we had been fighting a lot, and when we weren't fighting, we were having sex.

A few months ago, Gerald promised me that things were going to change, and they did, for a while, but now we're back to square one.

"Rachel, I-..." Kaitlyn started to say, pausing as she held her phone in her hands, debating on whether to call Grady back and ask if he was okay. "I'm sorry. I should've hung up."

I shook my head as I looked over at her, chewing on the inside of my cheek as tears filled up in my eyes.

"It's okay," I said with a small smile even though tears were spilling over onto my cheeks. "If I hadn't heard what Gerald said, we'd still be in this continuous loop of fighting and fucking. Nothing's changed. And he thinks that I'm dependent on him. He's got another storm coming," I said as I choked on the last word. I didn't want to end things with Gerald, but maybe it was time to call it quits once and for all.

Kaitlyn wrapped her arms around me, giving me a tight hug, pulling away after a couple of minutes.

"What are you going to do?" She asked, leaning back against my pillows. "I don't think he knows that we heard all of it. Grady knows, but I don't think he cares enough to tell Gerald."

"I don't care if he knows that I heard it or not," I said as I pulled my phone off the charger from my nightstand, going to FaceTime Gerald. "I'm ending it. I can't do this anymore. I'm not dependent on him. I can do shit myself."

Kaitlyn sat on my bed, staying silent as I pressed call on Gerald's name, waiting for him to pick up.

The second he answered, I could tell that he was drunk, so there's a chance that he might not even remember this conversation tomorrow. Oh well.

"Hello?" He muttered, running a hand through his messy blonde hair. "Oh, Rach," he said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

I swallowed, looking over at Kaitlyn. She squeezed my shoulder and gave a small smile of encouragement.

"Hey," I paused, biting my lip, trying not to cry in because I knew he could see me. "I'm okay, but, uh...we....we need to talk."

"Is everything okay?" He asked, sounding concerned with a slight slur in his words. "What's wrong?"

I took a deep breath before holding my phone down and looking at him.

"I heard everything you and Grady talked about," I blurted out. "He's right. We fell back into that toxic cycle of fighting and having sex, and we don't go on dates anymore. We hardly said I love you these past few weeks," I said, looking down to see if he was still watching me. He was. Intently. "Nothing's going to change, Gerald, no matter how hard we try. We gave forever a good shot, but unfortunately I think this was all that was in store for us. I'm breaking up with you."

"Rach, I-" He stuttered, trying to find the words to say. "You can't break up with me. You don't make the rules in this relationship."

I looked over in the corner of my eye and saw Kaitlyn's eyes grow wide. She wanted to say something, but decided to stay quiet and let me fight this battle myself.

Hearing Gerald say that I wasn't allowed to break up with him because I "don't make the rules" made me feel some kind of way. I don't know what he thought I was to him. I was never his girlfriend, I was just a sex toy, someone to fuck when he got bored. And I hate that it took me so long to see it.

"I'm breaking up with you, Gerald," I said as I looked at him, not caring if he could see the tears on my cheeks now. "We're done. I'm done with you. I don't care what you do after this conversation, but I hate how toxic we've become. I was so blind and madly in love with you that I couldn't see how bad you were for me. Grady and Kaitlyn had to point that out," I spat, taking a deep breath as my breath hitched in my throat. "I'm my own person, and I'm so much more than just your girlfriend. I don't need you. I don't need your fucking money."

"I'll give you a few days before you're calling me up wanting to cuddle," he paused, taking a drink of his whiskey. "Whatever, Rachel. If you think you can handle yourself, then I guess I'll let you go."

"It's not your choice to make," I said as I switched hands to wipe my eyes. "I can handle myself just fine."

He started to talk again, but I hung up on him. He called me back, but I declined it. After a few more, he took the hint and stopped calling.

"Rachel," Kaitlyn said as she put her hand on my shoulder. "You made the right choice, honey...even if it doesn't feel like it."

"It had to be done," I sniffled as I wiped my eyes. "It's over now."

Xoxox

We watched another movie before Kaitlyn decided it was time for her to call Grady and go to bed. Once she left my room, I shut the door and grabbed the scissors, going into my bathroom and turning on the light.

I stared at my long, blonde hair in the mirror. This was the hair that Gerald used to run his fingers through, pull on when we had sex and kiss when he was trying to be sweet.

Tears filled up in my eyes as I ran my fingers through it. As crazy as it sounded, I was reminded of the happier times when I looked at it. I had to get rid of it.

I picked up the scissors from the sink and started cutting at my hair, watching chunks of it fall out. When my hair stopped just above my shoulders, I stopped cutting it. I set them down and began running my fingers through it, sniffling as I looked down at the strands that surrounded my feet.

"He's not going to be in control of me anymore," I muttered as I shut off my bedroom light, going over to my bed and climbing in, getting comfortable and eventually falling asleep.